I was out of town all last week for business. My mom came in town to take care of Sidekick so I knew he was in good hands. I had been preparing him that I was going to be gone for a few days and that Grandma was going to take good care of him. Each time he said, "Don't leave me, Momma." Boy, did that tug at my heartstrings.
I wasn't sure how to handle communication with him during my absence. I wasn't sure if Skyping with him and/or talking to him would be harder on him, so we played it by ear. If he seemed sad or needed me, we would Skype or I would call. He didn't care that I was gone! A couple of times he asked my mom about me, but my absence didn't seem to bother him. So, I went five full days of not seeing/talking to my boy. I appreciated my colleagues' interest in where Sidekick was and if I was doing okay without him. I laughed every time and told them I was totally okay (and I wasn't lying).
I hadn't seen him since Sunday night, and didn't see him until I picked him up from school on Friday. That was a long time! When I showed up, he was playing with something. He looked at me and went back to what he was doing. He took a double take, yelled "Momma", ran towards me, wrapped his arms around me, and told me how much he had missed me. There is nothing better than that! How can I love this kid so much?
In all honesty, I didn't really miss him (which I feel guilty admitting). I knew he was in good hands, and I honestly enjoyed being away from him and being "free". Yes, I was stuck at a sales conference and in meetings all day and events each night, so I wasn't doing anything fun, but I didn't have feed my kid, get him ready and out the door for school, bathe him, walk the dog, etc. I felt free, and I loved it! When I got home, it was a bit of a transition and was thrown into our regular lives once again. Every once in a while, out of the blue, he'll say, "Don't leave me, Momma." I have to reassure him that I'm not going anywhere again for a long time.
We had an interesting conversation the other night. My best friend and her family are coming in town this weekend. While we were talking about seeing them, for some reason this is how our conversation went:
Sidekick: We don't have a Matt (husband/dad).
Me: That's right, Buddy. We don't.
Sidekick: We don't have a Lauren, eeder. (one of my friends' daughter)
Me: No, we don't.
Sidekick: It's just you, me and Ah-mee! (what he calls Dog)
He was so proud of himself for his realization of who/what our family is. He was so happy! I had to take a deep breath during this conversation because I never thought we'd be having a conversation like this as soon as he turned 2 1/2. I'm amazed that he is so aware of the world around him and that our family is different than 98% of the families he knows. I'm also grateful that he is weaning me into this difficult conversations to come about how our family came to be. I guess my idea that we wouldn't be talking about this for a couple of more years was wrong. I've always been an open book with everyone about how Sidekick was conceived, so I'm certainly not going to hide it from him, but Wow! I wasn't expecting the questions/conversations to start so early on in his life.
For my fellow SMCs... when did your kids start realizing his/her family is "different"?
Friday, January 23, 2015
Thursday, January 8, 2015
2 1/2 Years Old!
People told me when Sidekick was born to get ready for how fast time goes. I never believed it, but holy crap were they right! Today Sidekick turns 2 1/2 years old! I really can't believe it. When I was pregnant with him, I tried to imagine what he would be like as a baby. When he was born, I tried to imagine what he would be like when he was one. When he was one, I tired to imagine what he would be like at two. Here I am six months later, and I am still amazed at this little creature I made and grew inside of me.
I never imagined:
I never imagined he would be so funny and say such funny things without even knowing they are funny:
I never imagined:
- He would be fully potty trained all day/night by 2 1/2.
- He would be playing on a soccer field all by himself.
- He would know all of his letters and be able to read 25ish words.
- He would be able to count to 20.
- He would be such a helper: feeding Dog and giving her medicine, loading washing machine, emptying dishwasher, sweeping, etc.
- I would be having full blown conversations with him. (I literally just thought at this point he would be starting to form sentences.)
- He would be so sweet, loving, and kind. When he does things that are "good" or "right", he follows it up with, "That make you happy?"
I never imagined he would be so funny and say such funny things without even knowing they are funny:
- "*Sidekick*, should we get some gas?" "Yeah, Momma, I need some ass!"
- "Momma, there is pee pee in my penis."
- Sidekick likes to tell me if people are boys or girls. I'll ask him about different people in his life and he'll answer, "Boy" or "Girl". After playing this game for a while in the car, I asked him about Dog. He quickly said with complete irritation for such a stupid question, "Momma, Ah-mee (what he calls Dog), is a puppy dog!"
- "Ah-mee (what he calls Dog), dontcha lub me? Why you no snuggle wit me?"
- I was getting Sidekick out of the car and he accidentally hit me with a book he wanted to take to school. Without pause he said, "Sorry, Honey" and started walking in the building.
- "I like dead raccoons." He said after seeing road kill on our way to soccer.
- "Why I go school, Momma? I can't see." (We had an abnormally early morning because I had to get to an early sales presentation and it was still dark.)
- "Momma no have a penis??? Momma have a butt???" (When getting him ready for bed one night. Not sure what prompted that.)
- "Nice to meet you, Moon." (Sticking his right hand out and reaching for the sky.)
- "Momma, don't zip my penis."
- "I'm not a monkey, Momma. I *First and Last Name*." (He quietly said that out of the blue in the car on the way home from soccer.)
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Potty Training (and some other stuff)
If there is one thing that I have truly been worried about since being pregnant, it's potty training! I know that sounds so silly, but it's the one and only thing about which I've had anxiety! Sidekick could have been potty trained a couple of months ago, but I'm the one who didn't push it. Let's face it, diapers are so darn convenient. He's been waking up dry in the mornings since before he turned two years old, so naturally the kid can hold it 12 hours, so daytime potty training should be a breeze. I've worried about when we are out and about and he has to go potty.
I figured since he would be home for two days this week plus the weekend with no soccer, this would be the week to concentrate on it. Yesterday we stayed home all day (which I absolutely hate to do) so I could focus on potty training. He wore big boy under pants and stayed dry all day. The problem is, he didn't poop all day, and pooping in the potty kind of freaks him out, and he's only done it one time. I've even bribed with a bowl full of dollar store toys and whenever he poops on the potty, he can have one. He just likes to look at them and remind me that he only pees on the potty.
This morning, he told me that he wants to wear his airplane underpants to school. What??!! So, armed with two extra pairs of jeans and underpants, a shirt, socks, and shoes, I took him to school in his underpants. He was so excited to tell his teacher and the director, and they were so proud of him. So I sit here needing to take the Xanax I've never had (or any anxiety meds for that matter) wondering how he is doing. I'm pretty much expecting to have some poopy underpants to clean tonight, but maybe he'll surprise me. He's a couple of weeks shy of being 2 1/2, so I'd be one proud Momma if he was successful with this!
A couple of other things... lately, Sidekick has been waking up every night crying and yelling, "I need a hug!" I've heard from a few other people with kids the same age that their kids are waking up also. What's up with this? Anyway, I'll let him stand in his crib and cry for a minute until I realize that he's not going to settle back down, so I walk into his room, give him a hug, and he lays back down quietly. That's it! How can I turn down a need for a hug?
We've had a couple of talks before bedtime that he doesn't wake Momma up until the sun wakes up. Every morning since, when I walk into his room, he says, "I didn't wake Momma up. I make you happy." He is the sweetest little boy! I just want to wrap my arms around him and never let him grow up.
Finally, Whistle (his Elf) hides in some fairly difficult places, and Sidekick finds him right away regardless of what room Whistle is in. He'll walk into a room point to him and say "hi" and then go on with his day. Lately, he's been telling me that Momma moves Whistle every day. Really??? Can I not even stump my own toddler? He's not buying it! Sigh. He's too young to not believe in all of the magic of Christmas. Maybe next year he'll buy into it and forget that the thought I moved Whistle. The rate I'm going, next year he might not believe in Santa (who he still doesn't like by the way). This kid needs to let me have some fun during the holiday season!
I figured since he would be home for two days this week plus the weekend with no soccer, this would be the week to concentrate on it. Yesterday we stayed home all day (which I absolutely hate to do) so I could focus on potty training. He wore big boy under pants and stayed dry all day. The problem is, he didn't poop all day, and pooping in the potty kind of freaks him out, and he's only done it one time. I've even bribed with a bowl full of dollar store toys and whenever he poops on the potty, he can have one. He just likes to look at them and remind me that he only pees on the potty.
This morning, he told me that he wants to wear his airplane underpants to school. What??!! So, armed with two extra pairs of jeans and underpants, a shirt, socks, and shoes, I took him to school in his underpants. He was so excited to tell his teacher and the director, and they were so proud of him. So I sit here needing to take the Xanax I've never had (or any anxiety meds for that matter) wondering how he is doing. I'm pretty much expecting to have some poopy underpants to clean tonight, but maybe he'll surprise me. He's a couple of weeks shy of being 2 1/2, so I'd be one proud Momma if he was successful with this!
A couple of other things... lately, Sidekick has been waking up every night crying and yelling, "I need a hug!" I've heard from a few other people with kids the same age that their kids are waking up also. What's up with this? Anyway, I'll let him stand in his crib and cry for a minute until I realize that he's not going to settle back down, so I walk into his room, give him a hug, and he lays back down quietly. That's it! How can I turn down a need for a hug?
We've had a couple of talks before bedtime that he doesn't wake Momma up until the sun wakes up. Every morning since, when I walk into his room, he says, "I didn't wake Momma up. I make you happy." He is the sweetest little boy! I just want to wrap my arms around him and never let him grow up.
Finally, Whistle (his Elf) hides in some fairly difficult places, and Sidekick finds him right away regardless of what room Whistle is in. He'll walk into a room point to him and say "hi" and then go on with his day. Lately, he's been telling me that Momma moves Whistle every day. Really??? Can I not even stump my own toddler? He's not buying it! Sigh. He's too young to not believe in all of the magic of Christmas. Maybe next year he'll buy into it and forget that the thought I moved Whistle. The rate I'm going, next year he might not believe in Santa (who he still doesn't like by the way). This kid needs to let me have some fun during the holiday season!
"Ready or not, here I poop!"
Yep! Sidekick yelled that as soon as we got home from church last night. Never did I imagine I would be so happy to hear such words out of his mouth. He is officially potty trained! I know I wrote previously how much it sucked, and it did really suck. A lot. It's the hardest thing I've had to do as a parent thus far. Honestly.
I never used pull-ups with him because I never saw the point in them. I didn't want to confuse him when I put underpants on him since pull-ups and underpants are put on the same way. I stopped putting diapers on Sidekick cold turkey right before Christmas (thinking the timing would be good because he'd be with me a lot because of the holidays and the days he was at school, there weren't as many kids for his teacher to juggle plus worry about him). Sidekick got the peeing thing down pat! No problems whatsoever. Easy peasy. He never had an accident. The pooping thing was an entirely different issue! Holy shit! (haha no pun intended!) This kid refused to poop on the potty. I bribed with him a bowl of Dollar Store toys in his bathroom, watching extra TV, going out for ice cream, eating a cupcake, and even wrapping "big" presents that he would otherwise not get. His stubbornness was shining through. The kid could not be bribed, much to my frustration.
Over the course of nine days, he pooped in his underpants two times and one time in the bath tub. Are you doing the math? That's not very often. Why? Because he was holding it in! Little shit! (again, no pun intended.) I finally asked him what he wanted when he pooped on the potty, and his answer was, "Baby Jesus." What?????!!!! Like that's easy to produce.
Last Friday, I bought some prune juice (so yuck!), picked him up from school, filled up a sippy cup with "special" juice (because he doesn't drink juice), brought his potty into the living room (which he doesn't use because he prefers the toilet), turned on the TV, and told him to poop on the potty. Within about two minutes, he told me that he was pooping! OMG!!! I was so excited and so relieved because his poor little belly was so firm and distended, and I knew he wasn't feeling well. He immediately asked for his present, and we celebrated by eating mini cupcakes.
Over the course of four hours, he managed to squeeze out a little more poop three times just because he wanted another present that was wrapped. I gave him another little one and bribed him by rewarding him with another cupcake. So, just like that! Sidekick is fully potty trained and has been great all weekend.
I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would ever be talking about pooping so much, but it stressed me out, which in turn stressed out Sidekick. Not a good combination.
My hellion of a kid that was around during Christmas has gone away and my sweet boy is back. Thank goodness because I was having a tough time dealing with him. My favorite line when I laid him in his crib on New Year's Eve was:
I never used pull-ups with him because I never saw the point in them. I didn't want to confuse him when I put underpants on him since pull-ups and underpants are put on the same way. I stopped putting diapers on Sidekick cold turkey right before Christmas (thinking the timing would be good because he'd be with me a lot because of the holidays and the days he was at school, there weren't as many kids for his teacher to juggle plus worry about him). Sidekick got the peeing thing down pat! No problems whatsoever. Easy peasy. He never had an accident. The pooping thing was an entirely different issue! Holy shit! (haha no pun intended!) This kid refused to poop on the potty. I bribed with him a bowl of Dollar Store toys in his bathroom, watching extra TV, going out for ice cream, eating a cupcake, and even wrapping "big" presents that he would otherwise not get. His stubbornness was shining through. The kid could not be bribed, much to my frustration.
Over the course of nine days, he pooped in his underpants two times and one time in the bath tub. Are you doing the math? That's not very often. Why? Because he was holding it in! Little shit! (again, no pun intended.) I finally asked him what he wanted when he pooped on the potty, and his answer was, "Baby Jesus." What?????!!!! Like that's easy to produce.
Last Friday, I bought some prune juice (so yuck!), picked him up from school, filled up a sippy cup with "special" juice (because he doesn't drink juice), brought his potty into the living room (which he doesn't use because he prefers the toilet), turned on the TV, and told him to poop on the potty. Within about two minutes, he told me that he was pooping! OMG!!! I was so excited and so relieved because his poor little belly was so firm and distended, and I knew he wasn't feeling well. He immediately asked for his present, and we celebrated by eating mini cupcakes.
Over the course of four hours, he managed to squeeze out a little more poop three times just because he wanted another present that was wrapped. I gave him another little one and bribed him by rewarding him with another cupcake. So, just like that! Sidekick is fully potty trained and has been great all weekend.
I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would ever be talking about pooping so much, but it stressed me out, which in turn stressed out Sidekick. Not a good combination.
My hellion of a kid that was around during Christmas has gone away and my sweet boy is back. Thank goodness because I was having a tough time dealing with him. My favorite line when I laid him in his crib on New Year's Eve was:
"Happy New Year, Momma. You're stuck with me."
Seriously, where did that come from? I think that he knew we had a rough ten days also, but that no matter what, we are stuck with each other, and thankfully that's not a bad thing. We make a good team.
Happy new year, friends! May 2015 be more wonderful than you could ever hope, pray, or ask for. Thanks for joining us on our journey.
Monday, December 29, 2014
Post Christmas Wrap Up
Okay, so I just read my last post about my f'd up Christmas Eve, and boy did I get a chuckle out of it! I typed it up in such anger and frustration, and I never read what I actually typed until just now. It really did make me laugh because I was reliving the chaos of what it was like to be a Momma to a toddler on my not-so-perfect Christmas Eve. Thank you to those who responded and made me feel better. I guess I am just taken aback when Sidekick behaves in a way that is so out of the norm for him, and the fact that it happened on Christmas Eve just make the situation worse. It truly was a time when I felt like I failed as a mom and that really bothered me. But I am glad I wrote about it in the midst of my frustration because I can see the humor in it all now.
I did a "fancy" dinner out of guilt. My mom gave me a hard time awhile ago because I don't really like the holidays, and therefore Sidekick will never really "experience" Christmas. I felt like he would "experience" it through my family's typical Christmas Eve dinner so I made it. I know the had no idea that it was any different than any other dinner he eats (trust me, that dinner was a huge step up!), but I can at least I thought I would feel good that I did my best to show him what Christmas is all about, even if it was an epic fail!
Christmas day was fine. For the first time ever, Sidekick understood what opening presents is all about, so he enjoyed unwrapping everything. We Skyped my mom, sister, and her family and opened presents with each other. In all honesty, Christmas day felt like any other day, except there was wrapping paper involved. Sidekick got a three wheel "scooter", so after nap, it was so nice outside, so we went outside to try it out. He hopped on that thing and acted like he had been riding it for months. He looked like a pro and such a big boy!
Christmas is kept to a minimum as I don't believe he should be flooded with a bazillion presents. He also got a couple of play dough "kits", some puzzles, a bucket of musical instruments (this Momma is hoping some of them get lost- haha!), and a Duplo set, and we haven't played with half of them. I guess I'm just spreading out the gifts for a snowy day when we are trapped.
And finally... potty training sucks!!!!! This is the one and only thing I have freaked out about ever since becoming a parent. He's been in underpants for eight days now. He has been dry every single one of those days, but the kid does not know how to time the pooping thing. For whatever reason, he poops every other day now, so in those eight days, he's pooped one time in the bath tub and three times in his underpants. I'm seriously at my wits end! It frustrates me so much! He understands that he poops in the potty, but I think he can't figure out how to make it to the potty in time. As soon as he starts, he gets upset because he knows it's "wrong". I know that I'm not supposed to punish him for accidents, but I have resorted to taking his 20 minutes of TV away from him when he poops anywhere but the potty. Call me a horrible parent. No TV is the one thing that has seemed to be something that really bothers him, so hopefully he'll figure all of this out sooner rather than later.
So while my little guy is still being a handful, my fingers are crossed that we will be back on track very soon. Once he gets back into our normal routine, life will hopefully go back to normal. He's a kid that thrives on routine, and his routine is out of whack right now (as is his momma!).
I did a "fancy" dinner out of guilt. My mom gave me a hard time awhile ago because I don't really like the holidays, and therefore Sidekick will never really "experience" Christmas. I felt like he would "experience" it through my family's typical Christmas Eve dinner so I made it. I know the had no idea that it was any different than any other dinner he eats (trust me, that dinner was a huge step up!), but I can at least I thought I would feel good that I did my best to show him what Christmas is all about, even if it was an epic fail!
Christmas day was fine. For the first time ever, Sidekick understood what opening presents is all about, so he enjoyed unwrapping everything. We Skyped my mom, sister, and her family and opened presents with each other. In all honesty, Christmas day felt like any other day, except there was wrapping paper involved. Sidekick got a three wheel "scooter", so after nap, it was so nice outside, so we went outside to try it out. He hopped on that thing and acted like he had been riding it for months. He looked like a pro and such a big boy!
Christmas is kept to a minimum as I don't believe he should be flooded with a bazillion presents. He also got a couple of play dough "kits", some puzzles, a bucket of musical instruments (this Momma is hoping some of them get lost- haha!), and a Duplo set, and we haven't played with half of them. I guess I'm just spreading out the gifts for a snowy day when we are trapped.
And finally... potty training sucks!!!!! This is the one and only thing I have freaked out about ever since becoming a parent. He's been in underpants for eight days now. He has been dry every single one of those days, but the kid does not know how to time the pooping thing. For whatever reason, he poops every other day now, so in those eight days, he's pooped one time in the bath tub and three times in his underpants. I'm seriously at my wits end! It frustrates me so much! He understands that he poops in the potty, but I think he can't figure out how to make it to the potty in time. As soon as he starts, he gets upset because he knows it's "wrong". I know that I'm not supposed to punish him for accidents, but I have resorted to taking his 20 minutes of TV away from him when he poops anywhere but the potty. Call me a horrible parent. No TV is the one thing that has seemed to be something that really bothers him, so hopefully he'll figure all of this out sooner rather than later.
So while my little guy is still being a handful, my fingers are crossed that we will be back on track very soon. Once he gets back into our normal routine, life will hopefully go back to normal. He's a kid that thrives on routine, and his routine is out of whack right now (as is his momma!).
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Christmas Blows!
I hate the holidays. There, I said it. I don't have fond memories of Christmas. In fact, I can't think of a time when I was ever in the holiday spirit. There always seems to be fighting going on in my family and a couple of times, my mom didn't come out of her bedroom for whatever reason, and Christmas was canceled. As a kid, I can't remember loving Christmas. I must have at one point, but I have no memories of it. (How sad.)
This year I was determined to change all of that so that Sidekick only has good memories of Christmas. I wanted to create our own traditions. I wanted to begin loving Christmas and not dreading it each year. I wanted to be wowed by the magic of Christmas!
I tried to get into the holiday spirit because of Sidekick. I put up a Christmas tree, decorated my house, and put Christmas decorations outside. Because of a fallout at my sister's last Christmas (see, bad memories of Christmas once again) Sidekick and I are alone this year because we weren't invited to go to my sister's. I've tried to make the best of Christmas and have failed miserably.
This year I was determined to change all of that so that Sidekick only has good memories of Christmas. I wanted to create our own traditions. I wanted to begin loving Christmas and not dreading it each year. I wanted to be wowed by the magic of Christmas!
I tried to get into the holiday spirit because of Sidekick. I put up a Christmas tree, decorated my house, and put Christmas decorations outside. Because of a fallout at my sister's last Christmas (see, bad memories of Christmas once again) Sidekick and I are alone this year because we weren't invited to go to my sister's. I've tried to make the best of Christmas and have failed miserably.
Sidekick hasn't been feeling well, but remember that post the other day about how much I love him? (I am in Love) For the first time EVER, I can honestly say that I don't like him right now.
We went to Christmas service last night so that I could make a nice, fancy dinner tonight (Christmas Eve). I made a ham, potatoes, stuffing, and rolls. I was so proud of myself for timing everything perfectly and it tasting good. After that, we were going to put PJs on and watch a movie. When we sat down for dinner, Sidekick refused to eat any if it! He never does that. He cried. He screamed. He had a tantrum. I put him on the stairs for a time out and he screamed. He calmed down, sat back at the table, and refused to eat. Repeat this pattern about four times until out of the blue, blood came pouring out of his nose! All of a sudden durning my anger and frustration, I had to be sweet and loving towards my child because he was hemoraging (not literally). At this point I had finished eating my good dinner and gave up on him eating.
I decided to give him a bath while I took a shower (my big tub is right next to my shower) in hopes that we could both calm down. Sidekick has been dry for three days now, but has not been succesful pooping on the potty (one time in his underpants at school and didn't poop yesterday). I was doing all I could to get him to poop on the potty today, but he couldn't go. Can you see where I'm going with this??? While I had not spoken a word to my child for about ten minutes because I was so angry, the next thing I found myself doing is yelling at him for pooping the bathtub! Seriously, I was at the end of my rope.
I was so done with him, and my night was so far from what I ever imagined it would be. I know he needed to eat. I know he doesn't feel well. I know he wanted to watch a movie with me. I wanted to get as far away from him as possible as I continued to fight him on everything f'n thing! I've yelled at him nonstop, and I never do that. It's a time like this when I miss having a partner in my life so that I can turn Sidekick over to him and just walk away.
So right now he is watching Rudolph while I sit at my table typing this because I don't feel like snuggling with him. After Rudolph is over, he is going to bed. After which I will need to muster some excitement for filling his stocking and putting his presents around the Christmas tree. In true Christmas fashion, Christmas sucks ass once again.
Yes, he has apologized countless times and told me he loves me, but dammit, he's a miserable human being tonight. I can honestly say that he has never, ever acted like this child tonight. His behavior is so unacceptable. While I can blame some of it on him not feeling well, that doesn't give him a "Get out of Jail Free" card. My mom has a gift that is supposed to be opened tonight, and I don't want to give it to him. Why should I? He doesn't deserve it!
Merry Christmas! I hope yours is much more enjoyable than mine has been thus far..
Bah Humbug!
Saturday, December 20, 2014
I am in Love
This isn't "that" kind of post because I haven't fallen in love with a great guy (or even met him for that matter), but it's a post about how much I love my son. I go through phases when I can't wrap my arms around him enough, I tell him how much I love him all the time (yet that doesn't seem to be enough), and I just take in all that he offers me and the world. I know that every (okay, maybe most) Mom feels blessed to have her children and every Mom (again, most) thinks her child is the best one out there. Lately, I am that Mom, and it just consumes every ounce of me. Sometimes I am in disbelief that I made him, that he grew inside of me, and that he is growing into an amazing little boy. Am I the only one who goes through this?
When I ask him, "How much do I love you?" His response is, "Too much." (I think he means "So much" because that's what I tell him, but his "s's" aren't the great right now.) Anyway, his answer always makes me smile. Even when he wipes every single kiss off his face, I laugh and don't take offense. I can't even imagine loving him too much, but holy shit I love this kid! I especially love when he does or says something and then follows up with, "I make you happy!" What 2 1/2 year old says that?! He always wants me to be happy and knows when I'm not (which is not often). He is so in tuned to me that it's kind of freaky.
I remember when my friends or my sister had their first kid, they told me how much they immediately loved their babies. I never understood that. I remember them telling me a few weeks later how they've never loved anyone like they love their child. I couldn't wrap my head around that. But as soon as Sidekick was put in my arms, I loved him. It was that simple. I just plain loved him. As he grows into this amazing little boy, I love him more each day. I love the person he has become, and I can see that he is going to be a loving, caring, funny, outgoing, smart man (the kind I wish I could find!). He is perfect in every way (minus the two year old moments he has). He is better than I could have ever hoped and imagined he would be.
So, as we approach Christmas with just the two of us celebrating together, I am reminded of how blessed I am. Without him, who would I be now? Where would I be now? In just 2 1/2 short years, my world has been turned upside down in the most positive, amazing way I could ever imagine. Who knew that a little human being weighing 9 pounds 8 ounces who could do absolutely nothing on his own but pee and poop could do that to someone?
And for a little chuckle, here are a few pics "with" Santa. This one was at a members only night at a children's museum:
When I ask him, "How much do I love you?" His response is, "Too much." (I think he means "So much" because that's what I tell him, but his "s's" aren't the great right now.) Anyway, his answer always makes me smile. Even when he wipes every single kiss off his face, I laugh and don't take offense. I can't even imagine loving him too much, but holy shit I love this kid! I especially love when he does or says something and then follows up with, "I make you happy!" What 2 1/2 year old says that?! He always wants me to be happy and knows when I'm not (which is not often). He is so in tuned to me that it's kind of freaky.
I remember when my friends or my sister had their first kid, they told me how much they immediately loved their babies. I never understood that. I remember them telling me a few weeks later how they've never loved anyone like they love their child. I couldn't wrap my head around that. But as soon as Sidekick was put in my arms, I loved him. It was that simple. I just plain loved him. As he grows into this amazing little boy, I love him more each day. I love the person he has become, and I can see that he is going to be a loving, caring, funny, outgoing, smart man (the kind I wish I could find!). He is perfect in every way (minus the two year old moments he has). He is better than I could have ever hoped and imagined he would be.
So, as we approach Christmas with just the two of us celebrating together, I am reminded of how blessed I am. Without him, who would I be now? Where would I be now? In just 2 1/2 short years, my world has been turned upside down in the most positive, amazing way I could ever imagine. Who knew that a little human being weighing 9 pounds 8 ounces who could do absolutely nothing on his own but pee and poop could do that to someone?
And for a little chuckle, here are a few pics "with" Santa. This one was at a members only night at a children's museum:
This one was when an awesome, beautiful Santa with a real beard visited his school (see pic after this one). I went in hopes of snapping a good picture since the picture at the museum was unsuccessful. This is what I got. Yep, he didn't want anything to do with Santa, but he sat at a table near him. Little shit!
This is the beautiful, awesome Santa that visited school. Sidekick wasn't a fan last year either:
Finally, I love this picture of Sidekick from a few weeks ago decorating his own Christmas tree for his bedroom with his big, furry sister supervising. (He had more fun decorating his own tree than he did doing the big one in the living room):
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Whistle
Whistle is Sidekick's Elf. My sister gave him Elf on the Shelf when he was five months old, so that I would have it when Sidekick was "ready". I decided to try it last week, and Sidekick loves it. Shockingly, he finds him right away every morning. I don't hide it in really hard places, but he definitely has to search for him. Plus, we have the read the book every f'n night!!!!
Sidekick woke up about 30 minutes earlier (6:45) than normal this morning asking for water. He's never done that. Since we were at the point of no return, I just got him up and he started his day earlier. He went potty, and when I turned on his bedroom light to get him dressed, I found this:
Sidekick woke up about 30 minutes earlier (6:45) than normal this morning asking for water. He's never done that. Since we were at the point of no return, I just got him up and he started his day earlier. He went potty, and when I turned on his bedroom light to get him dressed, I found this:
Yep! That's Whistle's hat on Sidekick's hat rack, but Whistle was on the floor! I quickly ushered Sidekick out of his room asking him to turn off his bathroom light, picked up Whistle, put his hat back on, and hung him from his arms. Lesson learned... Whistle's hat is not glued on very well. As soon as Sidekick walked into the room, he saw Whistle. Phew!
What I think is funny is that Whistle's hat remained on the hat rack! I guess he just felt like he shouldn't be there with all of the other hats.
On a side note, I have found Christmas to be more fun now that Sidekick is older. He loves to look at Christmas lights. He loves reading Christmas books. He loves watching the Christmas specials on TV. He loves Whistle, and that he will report back to Santa every night. He loves the excitement of it all. Once again, I love seeing the world through his eyes because it gives me a while new perspective.
Monday, December 8, 2014
"Hallelujah" and a SMC Playdate
Sidekick loves all kinds of music. He can hear a song one or two times and recognize it right away each time after that. He heard "Hallelujah" one time, and this is what happened next time he heard it:
His sweet little voice and passion for music just melt my heart. I especially like the end when he starts to sing Yo Gabba Gabba. (He has quite an eclectic taste in music. Haha!)
Yesterday we hosted a play date with our local SMC group. I joined earlier this year and it wasn't very active and their aren't a lot of people, which was kind of disappointing. Someone finally decided that we should have a monthly meet-up, so December was my month. I decided in my spare time (yeah, right!) I would bake 7 dozen sugar cookies off all different shapes (snowflake, Christmas tree, gingerbread man, etc.) and the kids would decorate them with frosting and sprinkles. Six kids and their parents joined us, and everyone had fun! I am still blown away at how seven kids can destroy my basement and have every single toy out in .05 seconds.
The group is made up of a variety of different women, but we all share the commonality of being a SMC. It's the only group of people with whom I spend time that actually "gets it". I never get the, "But *Sidekick* is so easy" comment. Yes, he is easy, but that doesn't mean I am any less tired then a married mom with two kids. I have no family here, so I am raising Sidekick on my own 24/7. I lose my patience like any married mom. I wake up tired like any married mom. I have the same struggles like any married mom. My kid challenges me and throws temper tantrums just like their kids.
And then I've gotten the comment, "Be thankful you don't have two kids to deal with. It's so much easier with one." You know what? I'd love to have two kids, but my finances and my fear of having any type of debt prevent me from having another one. If I had a husband, I could afford to have another kid because I could afford daycare for two. It makes me sad that I can't have another kid. So, that comment never makes me feel better.
And my favorite: "Well, my husband isn't very helpful, so I understand how you feel" comment. No, you don't understand. It isn't even close! That mom generally has a dual income. That mom has an able body in the house so if the kid(s) is sleeping, she can at least run out to Target at 8:00 and roam around in no hurry while her husband sits on his ass at home and watches TV. That mom has someone who does something, whether he is a big contributor to the family household or not, that I don't have. So, it's not the same. Not even a little.
So, this group understands. It's like we have an unspoken truth about being a SMC. So, rather than bitch about our husbands, we talk about our kids and our desire to find a husband (not because we need one but because we would like to have someone with whom to share our lives), and I can't even think of a time when we have bitched about our kids. We understand how blessed we are. We understand how hard it is doing it alone. We understand that it's hard to keep it together. We do it all by ourselves, and we do it as best as we can. So while people try to compare my single lifestyle to their married lifestyle, this group of women just "gets it". There never needs to be an explanation for anything because instinctively we all know what it's like to walk in the SMC shoes.
His sweet little voice and passion for music just melt my heart. I especially like the end when he starts to sing Yo Gabba Gabba. (He has quite an eclectic taste in music. Haha!)
Yesterday we hosted a play date with our local SMC group. I joined earlier this year and it wasn't very active and their aren't a lot of people, which was kind of disappointing. Someone finally decided that we should have a monthly meet-up, so December was my month. I decided in my spare time (yeah, right!) I would bake 7 dozen sugar cookies off all different shapes (snowflake, Christmas tree, gingerbread man, etc.) and the kids would decorate them with frosting and sprinkles. Six kids and their parents joined us, and everyone had fun! I am still blown away at how seven kids can destroy my basement and have every single toy out in .05 seconds.
The group is made up of a variety of different women, but we all share the commonality of being a SMC. It's the only group of people with whom I spend time that actually "gets it". I never get the, "But *Sidekick* is so easy" comment. Yes, he is easy, but that doesn't mean I am any less tired then a married mom with two kids. I have no family here, so I am raising Sidekick on my own 24/7. I lose my patience like any married mom. I wake up tired like any married mom. I have the same struggles like any married mom. My kid challenges me and throws temper tantrums just like their kids.
And then I've gotten the comment, "Be thankful you don't have two kids to deal with. It's so much easier with one." You know what? I'd love to have two kids, but my finances and my fear of having any type of debt prevent me from having another one. If I had a husband, I could afford to have another kid because I could afford daycare for two. It makes me sad that I can't have another kid. So, that comment never makes me feel better.
And my favorite: "Well, my husband isn't very helpful, so I understand how you feel" comment. No, you don't understand. It isn't even close! That mom generally has a dual income. That mom has an able body in the house so if the kid(s) is sleeping, she can at least run out to Target at 8:00 and roam around in no hurry while her husband sits on his ass at home and watches TV. That mom has someone who does something, whether he is a big contributor to the family household or not, that I don't have. So, it's not the same. Not even a little.
So, this group understands. It's like we have an unspoken truth about being a SMC. So, rather than bitch about our husbands, we talk about our kids and our desire to find a husband (not because we need one but because we would like to have someone with whom to share our lives), and I can't even think of a time when we have bitched about our kids. We understand how blessed we are. We understand how hard it is doing it alone. We understand that it's hard to keep it together. We do it all by ourselves, and we do it as best as we can. So while people try to compare my single lifestyle to their married lifestyle, this group of women just "gets it". There never needs to be an explanation for anything because instinctively we all know what it's like to walk in the SMC shoes.
Friday, November 28, 2014
School Pictures and Thanksgiving
Sidekick's school does pictures twice a year. One of the times the photographer dresses the kids up and the other time the kids wear what the parents dress them in. The last few times, Sidekick has been uncooperative... one time he flat out refused to get his picture taken. This time however, I reminded his teachers that he hasn't been very good with his pictures, so they made sure he did well. Apparently he was a total ham when they dressed him in a suit! I can now envision what he will look like when he is graduating from college entering the workforce.
One thing that I think bothered me quite a bit is that on Wednesday, a friend, who happens to be a SMC, asked if I would come to her mom's house on Thanksgiving to take family pictures. I wasn't invited for dinner. I was invited to take pictures and then leave. I thought that was so rude, especially since she knows that I don't have family here. Would it have been that big of deal to have 1 1/2 (Sidekick is considered a half) people there? Anyway, I texted her I would get back to her because I was running into the grocery store. The entire time, I was kind of fuming. She wanted me to come on a holiday, in the morning with Sidekick to take pictures of her entire family while I smelled the food cooking. I was hurt and pissed.
Apparently I was preoccupied with my annoyance about that while grocery shopping and 3/4 of the way through, I realized I had someone else's cart! The cart contained my stuff and the other person's stuff. I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to find my cart, and there it was sitting next to the milk aisle. I didn't see anyone with it, so I emptied the stuff from my "borrowed" cart and put it in my original cart. I sure hope the rightful owner found his/her cart. I just seem to be doing stupid things like that lately. Yesterday, I realized that I had left the milk in the car (for the second time in a row, mind you) for 24 hours. Thankfully it was cold outside, so it was still okay. Recently I had left a rotisserie chicken in my car for two days, and it wasn't cold. But seriously, what is my problem?
Back to the Thanksgiving day pictures... I was painting Sidekick's furniture a couple of hours after the original text about taking my friend's family picture, when my friend texted me and said that her mom's friend finally got back to them and said she would take pictures. So, I didn't have to come up with some excuse and I didn't have to go... ON A HOLIDAY. I seriously wasn't going to go. I just didn't know how to get out of it. I'm still pretty bugged about that.
Today my mom is coming in town for a long weekend. Sidekick is one of only about 15-20 kids at school, which has a shortened day. I plan on taking advantage of Sidekick not being here and getting a Christmas tree with my mom and start decorating. The big question is, will I cave and get a fake one because of the convenience of it? Maybe I'll find a beautiful one for a great deal that I can't pass up. I haven't decorated for years because it's just been me, and up until now, Sidekick hasn't known what holidays are, but this weekend, we are going to get all ready and make our new home pretty.
Sidekick has been talking about Santa Claus, so I'm pretty sure his excitement will get me into the holiday spirit. The innocence of kids can sure put life into perspective.
Thanksgiving was just a normal day around here. We didn't do anything special. My family doesn't live here, so it was just Sidekick and I. I painted some furniture for Sidekick's room, we played, worked on a Christmas present project for my mom, bundled up to take Dog for a long walk, and actually watched an entire (not just the 20 minute norm) movie before bedtime. Sidekick wanted macaroni and cheese for dinner, and I had a bowl of Wheat Chex. (I'm sure that's close to what the Indians ate, right?) While I am so incredibly thankful for Sidekick, the holidays can still be lonely. Christmas will be just like Thanksgiving, so if I survived Thanksgiving, I'll do just fine on Christmas.One thing that I think bothered me quite a bit is that on Wednesday, a friend, who happens to be a SMC, asked if I would come to her mom's house on Thanksgiving to take family pictures. I wasn't invited for dinner. I was invited to take pictures and then leave. I thought that was so rude, especially since she knows that I don't have family here. Would it have been that big of deal to have 1 1/2 (Sidekick is considered a half) people there? Anyway, I texted her I would get back to her because I was running into the grocery store. The entire time, I was kind of fuming. She wanted me to come on a holiday, in the morning with Sidekick to take pictures of her entire family while I smelled the food cooking. I was hurt and pissed.
Apparently I was preoccupied with my annoyance about that while grocery shopping and 3/4 of the way through, I realized I had someone else's cart! The cart contained my stuff and the other person's stuff. I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to find my cart, and there it was sitting next to the milk aisle. I didn't see anyone with it, so I emptied the stuff from my "borrowed" cart and put it in my original cart. I sure hope the rightful owner found his/her cart. I just seem to be doing stupid things like that lately. Yesterday, I realized that I had left the milk in the car (for the second time in a row, mind you) for 24 hours. Thankfully it was cold outside, so it was still okay. Recently I had left a rotisserie chicken in my car for two days, and it wasn't cold. But seriously, what is my problem?
Back to the Thanksgiving day pictures... I was painting Sidekick's furniture a couple of hours after the original text about taking my friend's family picture, when my friend texted me and said that her mom's friend finally got back to them and said she would take pictures. So, I didn't have to come up with some excuse and I didn't have to go... ON A HOLIDAY. I seriously wasn't going to go. I just didn't know how to get out of it. I'm still pretty bugged about that.
Today my mom is coming in town for a long weekend. Sidekick is one of only about 15-20 kids at school, which has a shortened day. I plan on taking advantage of Sidekick not being here and getting a Christmas tree with my mom and start decorating. The big question is, will I cave and get a fake one because of the convenience of it? Maybe I'll find a beautiful one for a great deal that I can't pass up. I haven't decorated for years because it's just been me, and up until now, Sidekick hasn't known what holidays are, but this weekend, we are going to get all ready and make our new home pretty.
Sidekick has been talking about Santa Claus, so I'm pretty sure his excitement will get me into the holiday spirit. The innocence of kids can sure put life into perspective.
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