Saturday, April 2, 2011

Signing off for a Little While

I've decided to chronicle my journey this month separate from my blog. Since my sister is the only one who knows about this blog, and I don't want any of my friends or family to know what is going on, I have decided to take a break from blogging. I will continue to keep track of everything and then copy and paste it all in the blog when the time is right. I'll be back... hopefully with good news! (fingers crossed!)

Friday, April 1, 2011

April 1st is Kickoff to Baby Making!

I can't believe it is April already! April seemed so far away when I really started exploring this new adventure in my life. I'd be lying if I didn't say I was nervous. I'm terrified at the idea of this happening, but at the same time, I am beyond excited that it could happen. While I am not trying to have a baby the traditional way (father, mother, baby), I am content with my decision to do this "alone". I certainly don't feel like I am throwing in the towel with finding a husband to complete my family. I think perhaps the path my life is supposed to take is a little backwards, and I'm okay with that. In fact, I think if I already have a child on my own, the pressure of finding a man who wants to have children is nonexistent. If he and I choose to have another child that's great, but if we don't, then that's okay too.

I sent an email to my friends and family explaining how I want to handle this very delicate situation. I titled it "Rules for Conception". It explained that I will not be talking about this potential baby of mine anymore. I gave a far out date that explains if people don't hear from me by that date then I am not pregnant. It's the only way I think I can handle the stress of it all because I don't want people counting down the days with me. Fortunately, I found a private Facebook page for women like me, and because these women are pretty much strangers, I can tell them anything and everything as they have become a huge support for me!

The only "issue" is that my sister is the only person who knows about this blog. Either I don't write in it anymore, or she keeps this secret of mine quiet and never discusses it with me or anyone else. I can't imagine not writing about this adventure during the most important time, when I actually do my first IUI. Decisions, decisions.