Monday, January 20, 2014

Things I Think About When I Have Insomnia

Sometimes I have really bad insomnia, but it definitely stopped when I started taking pain meds and a muscle relaxer for my back.  I felt pretty good yesterday, so I didn't take anything before bedtime... hence the insomnia last night.  I think part of the reason I can't fall back asleep is because my mind races a mile a minute!  Here are things that kept me awake:

1.  I should have done a helmet for Sidekick's flat spot on the back of his head.
2.  Will I hold Sidekick back in Kindergarten because he has a July birthday?
3.  I want to have another baby so badly, but I can't afford daycare for two.  (I ran numbers in my head all night long to try to disprove that fact.)
4.  On Wednesday, I have to travel four hours, attend a five hour meeting that starts at noon, and travel four more hours.  Do the math... that's a long day! I'm worried about the logistics of that day.  Sidekick's teacher is driving him back to my home to take care of him until I get home at 9:30 PM.
5.  We are growing out of our condo, and when I put my condo on the market in the next month or so, I worry about the fears of purchasing a house and all of the responsibilities that come with a house.
6.  What if I don't reach my sales goal?
7.  I have been inundated  with so many sales presentations this month and am feeling stressed.
8.  I won a trip through to Cabo work for being a top account executive in my company, and since my stepdad's cancer is bad, I'm not sure I'll be able to go since my mom was going to watch Sidekick. 
9.  Will I ever get married?
10.  Will I bother having a second birthday for Sidekick?  (I barely had one for his first birthday.)
11.  I feel very badly that our dog growing up lived in a kennel outside because that's the way it was done "back in the day".  I seriously get upset decades later when I think about how she used to be outside when it was so cold. 
12.  I cannot stand when people don't clean up after their dog.  My neighborhood is full of dog shit right now!
13. And lucky #13... Why does that lady park on my side of the building and occupy a parking spot when she has a carport on her side of the building???!!!
14.  Finally... where are Sidekick and I going to spend Christmas?  Disney cruise?  Sandals resort? 

Yes, I believe all of that went through my head last night (there may have been more that I can't remember), and I wonder why I can't sleep!  I just cannot shut down my brain.  Am I the only one out there like this???


  1. Have you tried meditating? It helps me most of the time. So when I feel very restless and have a million thoughts per second I sit up cross-legged, put my hands on my knees and just breathe and focus on my breathing. Even if it is only for a minute or two. When my mind begins to wander again, I try to let go of the thought and try to keep focussing. It takes some practice for it to work, but in the long-run it helps a lot more, than I expected.
    Also I don't know how much you pay for daycare, but have you considered getting an au-pair? It's not for everyone, but if you feel comfortable with it, I think it might be a more affordable option, esp. if you have 2 Babies ;)
    - Julia

    1. I've tried meditating and yoga, and neither work because no matter what, I cannot shut my brain down! It sucks! Au-pair/nanny... yes, I've considered for a blink of an eye. I live in a two bedroom condo. I have a home office and work at home part of the week, so there is nowhere for me, a nanny, and a toddler to co-exist. Plus, I really do like daycare and everything it offers Sidekick!

  2. no wonder you can't sleep! (I hate that! Hope you can sleep tonight.)

    1. Going off muscle relaxer and pain pill was not good for my back, so I'll be back on them tonight and hopefully catch some more shut-eye tonight!

  3. I have similar issues most nights (not quite as bad right now as the semester is just starting and life is less crazy than it will be soon). Although mine thought are usually more the little things (like all the work tasks that I should have done/need to do the following day). I have found that melatonin helps a lot.

  4. Your brain sounds very much like mine (just switch sales references to teaching)...I also like to throw in random annoying songs in the middle of the night for good measure (last week it was Katy Perry's Roar on repeat, it is often Feliz Navidad on repeat).

    Hope you get some much needed sleep soon.