Wednesday, September 30, 2015

The Date

Last week, I did indeed meet up with that guy for lunch.  After a 15 minute delay in the time because of my work, we met at a cool new restaurant that makes amazing chopped salads. He looked just like his picture, but I swear, he was shorter than he said.  We even had a conversation on the phone about his height. I am 5'6" and I was wearing wedges... I think I was taller than him.  He claims he is 5'10", but my wedges were not four inches... were they???


There was that awkward moment upon meeting and then trying to get a conversation going.  I never want anyone around us to think we are on a first date especially when we first meet, but he told one of the workers there right away.  Ugh!  We stared at the menu for a while and talked about what we were going to get. It's a place that makes the salad in front of you while you move down a "line" and you can choose which things you want.  I went first and by the time mine was ready, he was at the end picking out his chicken.  He ordered a specific salad from the menu, but he wanted a different kind of chicken and two different dressings on the side. (High maintenance?) I went to pay, and while I don't expect a man to pay, I was totally surprised that he didn't even attempt to offer to pay when we were standing next to each other.  Whatever.

We sat down and he asked me what I do for a living and vice versa.  Conversation was okay, but I didn't feel any type of spark.  He eventually asked me about what Sidekick's name is and asked to see a picture. He commented on how cute he is which kind of led into the dating scenario with a kid.  I know he loves kids and is probably good with them, but I don't think he wants to share me with Sidekick.  He's 50 years old, so I can't imagine him with a three year old and dealing with me having to hire a babysitter anytime we want to go out.  That's the problem with dating with a kid: babysitters are expensive, and I can't just drop anything at a moment's notice.  (The Sunday before we actually met, he texted me out of the blue and asked me if I wanted to meet him for coffee that afternoon... ummmm... babysitter needed!)  He also mentioned (again) the idea of always having to stay at my house (was he invited?) unless I get a babysitter. 

He emailed me the next day saying he'd like to get together.  I got slammed with two busy days of work that had evening events and then my busy weekend came and went.  I never emailed him back.  I suck, and that's mean.  I know that.  He was a nice guy, but I just don't know if I want to go out with him again.  He's not very funny (important to me) and he referenced Seinfeld many times (I never watched that show and he knows it, so I found it annoying).  I hate thinking that I'm judging him and the potential of a relationship off an almost two hour phone conversation and a 90 minute lunch date.  But... time has come and gone, and it seems silly to email him back now.  Dating sucks. 

I know when the right guy comes along, I'll be willing to pay for that babysitter because I'll want to be with that guy, but I sure don't want to pay for one plus my meal and/or drinks because that's an expensive night to spend with someone I'm not interested in.  Maybe I need to take Sidekick to my mom's for a month and be a serial dater.  Haha.

There's no one else in the hopper right now though, so that's a bummer. 

Monday, September 21, 2015

A Date with a Man!

Well, I entered the online dating world, and it sure has sucked!  After my short stint and no prospects, I got a great deal (of course) to renew my membership, so I decided to try suffering once again.  Here's my perspective on online dating... if you aren't a strong woman, it can really hurt your self esteem.  Seriously.  It's hard to not take offense when a guy doesn't respond to an email, a like, a wink, whatever.  Does he really think he's better than me, and I'm not worthy of his time and attention?

As soon as I renewed, I decided to change my picture, and I immediately got a few men vying for my attention.  I find it interesting that that would change things, but it did.  Anyway, I got an email from a guy who is 50 (gulp!) years old.  (I'm almost 42.)  He doesn't look close to being 50 and he takes good care of himself, and really, age is just a number. He's attractive and seems to have his shit together, so those are good things. 

We exchanged some thoughtful emails, and I told him that I am a SMC and gave him an "out" if he wanted.  I understand it's hard dating someone with kids, especially when there is no ex-husband who takes the kids every once in a while.  Furthermore, I have no family in the same state, so I'll have to start forking out money for a babysitter which I don't want to do but will have to do.  So everything I just typed were his concerns, and I totally get it. Just the thought of juggling dating with a kid makes me crazy!

This guy has never been married (came close) and doesn't have kids, but he really does like kids.  I feel like he has such a footloose and fancy free life, and I... don't.  I'm not so sure how much he is going to want to share me with my son, have to make plans ahead of time, and not being able to do spontaneous things if Sidekick is not invited. Again, stressful.

Last night we talked on the phone for two hours. He brought up the whole kid thing and babysitting issue and even made a comment like I'd never really be able to stay the night at his house.  Yep.  You got it, buddy!  I'm not paying a babysitter overnight just so we can sleep in your bed.  My bed is big and comfy and will be just fine.

We have an unofficial lunch date tomorrow.  Last night I suggested we meet for lunch.  Why?  Because I don't have to pay for a babysitter and lunch seems much less stressful.  He's on vacation from his fulltime job this week, but he has a side job, so he's not exactly sure when he'll be done. I work out of my home and will be out an about with customers.  It might be a bit of a challenge, but I told him in a text that I have to go about my day because it is a work day, and we'd have to play it by ear if we will be able to connect.  That might have pissed him off.

Who knows what'll happen.  Part of me is ready to date, and part of me is scared shitless.  How does a man gel into mine and Sidekick's life that has just been the two of us for a little over three years?  I want to find a man, I really do, but dating brings a new set of challenges now that I have a child.

Sidekick keeps asking me when he is going to get a Daddy.  As if it is that easy.  If it was, I wouldn't have him, I'd have an entirely different kid from free sperm. I keep telling him that one day I hope to find him a Daddy.  He reassures me that we have great family and we are a great team.  Bless his sweet, innocent heart.

No one knows about this potential date.  I don't want anyone to know unless it truly goes somewhere.  But I'm tempted to ask my friend about him because she happens to be Facebook friends with him.  However, my secret investigating might be a little too much and seem very sneaky to her, and I wouldn't want that to get back to him.  I guess I'll wait to ask her if in fact I'm interested in him.  There are so few secrets in the world with social media, and it's easy so Google people. 

Update tomorrow if there is an actual date...

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Blood, Blood, and More Blood

It was a lovely Monday evening.  One in which despite the heat and humidity, for some reason, it didn't feel all that horrible.  I was sweaty and smelly from going running before I picked up Sidekick from school, but after dinner for what was supposed to be 15 minutes before bath time, Sidekick put his helmet on and hopped on his new bike with training wheels while I walked Dog.  We came across a yard being watered, and Sidekick was enjoying riding his bike through the sprinkler, laughing each time. He somehow stopped and while trying to get started again the training wheel got stuck between the grass and the sidewalk.  I watched him and the bike tip over in what felt like slow motion and saw him fall to the ground. I blew the fall off like I always do and helped him get up while he was crying. I happened to catch a little blood on his neck and when I took a better look, inside I freaked out a bit because it was a lot of blood.

I picked up Sidekick while he was crying, held the bike in one hand, and the leash in the hand that was holding Sidekick.  I quickly and very calmly walked to my neighbor's door to help assess the damage.  We both looked and couldn't decide what to do at first.  I ran the bike and Dog home while my neighbor held Sidekick and held a washcloth to the slice in his neck.  Once I came back, we decided it was best to take him to the pediatric ER.  If you are squeamish, don't look at this picture (probably way too late for that warning!):

If I learned anything through this process, it's that kids don't know to be scared.  If we are scared, then they will be too.  I texted my sister who filled my mom in, got Taggie that only stays in his bed, and we got in the car.  When we walked into the ER, the person that greeted us asked what was wrong, and Sidekick replied, "I hurt my neck."  We waited an hour to get into triage and another hour to get in a room.  The entire time, Sidekick was great!  It was past his bedtime by the time we got into triage and he couldn't eat or drink anything, so that didn't make him happy, but he was still a trooper.  We finally got a room where he chose to watch "Frozen" and hang out.  

When "Frozen" was over, (that's how long it took someone to get this wound taken care of), he all of a sudden went ballistic!  He was thrashing around, was inconsolable, got off the bed, headed to the door, and told me he was leaving.  At 11:00 PM, a nurse came in (shift change) and I told her he was clearly a mess and might need a little Tylenol or something (I don't normally give him any meds), because he was hurting.  With the way he was laying, she could only see the little "hole" on his left side right by his collar.  She was surprised that he was in so much pain because of that. When I told her to look under his chin, she said, "Oh, Baby, let's get you some medicine."

He quickly fell asleep with Taggie over his face because the room was bright and it was three hours past his bedtime.  During this waiting time, the nurses kept putting a numbing gel so that he wouldn't feel anything happening to him. We finally figured out that the doctor would be able to glue it as opposed to doing stitches which was great, but then we had to wake him up. You can imagine how unhappy he was.  Someone from Family Crisis came to talk to me about how the procedure would go and how to best help Sidekick through it.  At 11:15 PM they scrubbed up the cut and he did great. We had to prop a pillow under his shoulder blades so that his neck would bend back, chin up, and his neck would be stretched. The lady from Family Crisis held her iPad near his ear so that he could listen to music while I held his hand and talked to him.  As soon as the glue was put on him, he screamed bloody murder!  Apparently, despite the numbing gel, they see one kid every few years have a reaction to the glue, and that kid was mine.  While I quietly talked to him to keep him still, he little butt started dancing to "Wheels on the Bus" that was playing on the iPad, and he was singing the song quietly through his tears.  Broke my heart, but such a strong boy.

We were discharged at 11:45 PM with a Cars Band-Aid, a glued 1 1/2 inch gash, and a purple popsicle. 

I was apologized to several times for the wait.  It was a really busy night.  One nurse told me a four day old baby came in with a really high fever. Can you imagine that?  I explained that I was grateful my kid was going to walk out of here with nothing more than a scar, and that I'd wait as long as I needed for an outcome like that.  It was bad to be in the ER, but at the same time not that bad because he was lucky to be on the bottom of the urgency list. I felt sorry for all the kids and babies who had far worse things going on.

So, what exactly cut him?  I don't really know.  The bike wasn't really moving when it fell over.  I originally thought it was the helmet strap, but it's way too soft to have caused that at snail speed.  Upon looking at his bike, I feel more confident that he fell on the hard "wire" leading from the handbrake to the wheel. I think that might have just caught him at the right angle when he fell.  But I'm not sure, and I don't know if I ever will. 

My sweet boy was so brave.  Sometimes I look back and think it could have been so much worse if the cut had been deeper or in just a little bit different of a location.  I kept him home from school the next day since we didn't get home until 12:30 AM, and I knew he'd be tired.  When he got to school, he was proud to show off his war wound, and it never phased him after that.  It's like it never happened.

I'm sure I'll see more blood in my future.  No doubt.