Thursday, November 12, 2015

"My daddy is dead."

I had an interesting conversation with Sidekick's teacher the other day.  Apparently, while some kids were sitting at the table, the following conversation occurred:

Girl:  My mommy is picking me up today.
Boy:  My daddy is picking me up today.
Sidekick:  My daddy is dead.

I have never told Sidekick is Daddy is dead.  He knows he has a Donor that "helped Momma find a baby" (his words).  Sometimes he'll tell me that his grandpa who passed away last year is his daddy. He's been asking about his daddy since he was 2 1/2 years old.  When I was pregnant with him and when he was a baby, I never thought I'd be having these conversations with him at such a young age.

I talked to him when we got home and reminded him that he doesn't have a Daddy he has a Donor and that there are many different types of families. He was adamant that his Daddy is dead.  While Sidekick is only three, his brain is definitely older than three (according to daycare director and pediatrician), so I try to bring conversations to his level, which seem to be more advanced than they should be (if that makes sense).  He's asked me several times when I am going to find him a Daddy, and I always chuckle in my head that if it was that easy, I wouldn't have chosen to be a SMC.

I think he misses the idea of having a Daddy without truly feeling like he is "missing out" on having a Daddy. But one day soon, he could feel like he is truly missing out, despite how normal and complete I try to make our family.  I am still hopeful that I will get married someday and he will have a Daddy, but I don't promise him that because no one can predict the future.  Gosh, I sure wish we could because if I wasn't going to happen, I'd stop trying online dating.  Ugh! 

Fortunately, he has dropped this idea (or at least telling others) that his Daddy is dead, but I'm not sure he has buried it (haha!).  Just another wonderful parenting moment of being a SMC!

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Halloween and the Threenager has Disappeared

I have gotten a grip on my Threenager once again.  How in the world can a little pint sized body control adults so much???!!!

I posted on a Mom's Forum the struggle I was having with Sidekick and asking for suggestions that didn't result in an F'n reward chart.  Many disagreed with the fact that I didn't take Sidekick to Karate after he was being an asshole at school. They said the punishment should have fit the crime, and since the crime was at school, the punishment shouldn't have been at school.  It got me thinking, but I still stand by my punishment.  Why should he get the privilege of doing something fun when he was shitty all day at school? No way.  He didn't deserve that special activity. 

Anyway... it's tough to ask questions (why is why I like the anonymity of a Forum and even my blog) because some will agree and some will disagree. I need to find a system that works for us. One mom suggested a Coupon system in which her kids get a coupon for doing something good (randomly coupons are given), BUT (and this is what I like), Coupons can be taken away!!!  I believe in consequences for actions, and let me tell you that Sidekick does not like when one is taken away.  His "prize" that he chose for getting ten coupons is going out for ice cream.  It's Thursday, and he doesn't have his ten Coupons yet, but it's hard when he's at school all day.  But he'll get them, and he's been doing great!

At school, every day the week leading up to Halloween had a theme.  One of his faves was crazy hair day. He was a pretty cool dude! 

Halloween was great!  He was the leader of the pack, running from house to house.  He was sweet and grateful.  He had so much fun and was sad when Halloween was over. He can't seem to understand when he will be able to celebrate again.   I remember the disappointment of something ending when I waited so long for it to come.  I still have that disappointment sometimes, like when a favorite TV shows ends forever or a vacation comes to an end. It's such a bummer.  Anyway, being a pirate was so fitting since he is obsessed (okay, I am too) with skulls and crossbones. He definitely played the part well.  I love this boy so much!