Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Plugging Along in Life and Total BS

I've been quite unmotivated lately... I mean really unmotivated.  I feel like I suck at being a Mom right now because I just want to curl up in my bed for the day and hide.  I registered Sidekick for kindergarten last night, and I'm still so on the fence about sending him. Academically he's beyond ready-- he is working at a 6 1/2 year old level when he's only 4 1/2.  BUT, he's young and will be almost the youngest boy in his class.  Along with being young comes immaturity, and he's still having issues at school with focusing, keeping his hands to himself, wanting to be the class clown, etc.  Those are the reasons to hold him back, but the experts in the district think that holding him back will result in additional problems such as boredom, which will then cause additional problems.  So, right now, I'm going to send him, with the realization that I can decide at any moment that he isn't going to go. I feel like this decision is going to set him up for success or failure for the next 20 years!
I ended my 2016 sales year on an amazing high note, closing a $2 million sale in December.  It's never happened before, and it put me over my sales goal.  Without explaining how/why because it's too confusing and complicated, they are not paying me a HUGE chunk of my bonus!!!!  I am so f'ing pissed and am kind of on strike right now.  I pretty much worked one hour today, and I didn't give one flying f***!  Why would I work my ass off when they screwed me?  I'm not talking about a few thousand dollars.  I'm talking about a hell of a lot more than that, and I am so upset about it.  My manager is fighting it because it affects his bonus as well and it's WRONG, and we have upper management on our side, but I and my bonus are at the mercy of someone (no idea who that is).  I will appeal, fight, sue, whatever to get my money that I worked so hard for.  It makes me sick that they would do this to me.  I've been with my company for almost 18 years, and they pull this shit.  Why would I kill myself this year like I did last year when they screwed me over?  How unmotivating is that?  I am hoping whoever that someone is will change his/her mind, but it's not looking promising.  It's disgusting, and it makes me so angry thinking about it.

We are about 12 days away from our vacation in hell.  I mean Disney. I'm not looking forward to it because it's way too scheduled (not my kind of vacation), but I know Sidekick will have an amazing time, amongst several breakdowns from exhaustion.  Nothing like throwing a pretty scheduled kid who loves to sleep into a burning fire and think that all will be well.  It would be silly if I believed that.  Attitude adjustment needed please.

Oh yeah!  Happy Singles Awareness Day. I sure love my boy, and don't care about this stupid day.