Friday, January 10, 2014

Momma the Invalid

I think I previously mentioned my bad back in another entry. Last weekend, it got so bad that I went into my stash of pain pills from delivering Sidekick 18 months ago and getting a kidney stone removed and others crushed 14 months ago. I was popping these expired pain pills like they were M&Ms all to no avail. I was miserable! Being on the third floor condo with no elevator, digging both of my cars (one company one personal) out of 12 inches of snow, and schlepping around an 18 month old didn't help. I honestly couldn't walk.

I happened to have a follow-up appointment with the back specialist this past Wednesday. I couldn't bend forward more than about 5 degrees. (I can usually easily touch my toes.)  Upon examining me and seeing me burst into tears when she touched me, I was immediately sent for an MRI with a follow up with the doctor right afterwards. We discovered a couple of months ago that one leg is 8mm shorter than the other which is pretty significant, so between heel lifts in every pair of shoes and physical therapy, we got the SI joint under control. For whatever reason, something happened to my back last week. Anyway, preliminary view of my MRI by doctor (not radiologist) shows a bulged disc which was discovered years ago and a lipoma somewhere on the vertebrae (?). Apparently the bulge must have gotten worse, but we are still waiting to see the radiologist's report.

I was started on a five day pack of heavy steroids. I finished day three and have had no relief... not even a bit!  I had a seven hour team meeting today, and I stood for most of it. I want to curl up and die. I was encouraged by my team to call my doctor during the meeting  after they witnessed how much pain I was in to get some unexpired pain meds-- haha. I couldn't take the pain any longer.  The doctor told me in severe circumstances, the steroid pack might not kick in until a week after I finish it. F'ing great!  I can't deal with this for another week.  I can't. 

The other night, I was in such incredible pain that I put Sidekick in his crib at 6:45. I usually put him in his crib between 7:15 and 7:30. He hadn't taken a good nap at school, so I figured he'd go right to sleep. At 8:10 when I crawled into my bed crying from the pain, Sidekick was still awake. I have no idea what time he finally fell asleep, but I'm pretty sure I beat him. I am so lucky he loves his crib!  He always has. (I swear it's because he's never slept anywhere else.)

I seriously can't handle keeping up with him right now.  I can barely take care of myself.  This is a time when having family in the same state would be great because maybe someone could take him off my hands so I can just lay flat on my back for an entire day. I am dreading the weekend and have cried just thinking about having to entertain Sidekick, get to the grocery store, finish laundry, clean my messy home, etc. I honestly don't know how I will get through the weekend. 

I took my first pain pill a couple of hours ago, and while it took a very slight edge off the pain, I still hurt so much.  I cannot understand what is causing all of this pain, but it's unbearable.  On a scale of 1-10, I'm at a 20.  I'm pretty sure it hurts far more than my contractions.  I'll take 23 hours of labor and delivery any day over this.  So... Momma is an invalid, has been an invalid for seven days, and will probably be an invalid for another seven days.  Make this pain go away!  I may turn into a crazy person if it doesn't get under control.   


  1. I'm so sorry to hear that you're in so much pain! It sounds terrible. You may want to give some alternative therapies a shot, given that the conventional pain meds aren't helping much. I know it sounds crazy, but I've had incredible relief from a yoga practice. It's hard to believe, I know, but doing yoga basically keeps my back pain-free. You'd have to hire an experienced yoga teacher, ideally with some training in yoga therapy. You can probably get someone to give you a private "lesson" in your home for $75-$100. I know not everyone is open to this, but it has saved my life at times! Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

  2. Oh now--I wish I lived close by so I could be of some help. I hope you have found some relief this weekend. Sending healing wishes.