Friday, January 23, 2015

Business Travel and an Incredible Conversation with my Boy

I was out of town all last week for business.  My mom came in town to take care of Sidekick so I knew he was in good hands.  I had been preparing him that I was going to be gone for a few days and that Grandma was going to take good care of him. Each time he said, "Don't leave me, Momma."  Boy, did that tug at my heartstrings.

I wasn't sure how to handle communication with him during my absence.  I wasn't sure if Skyping with him and/or talking to him would be harder on him, so we played it by ear.  If he seemed sad or needed me, we would Skype or I would call.  He didn't care that I was gone!  A couple of times he asked my mom about me, but my absence didn't seem to bother him.  So, I went five full days of not seeing/talking to my boy.  I appreciated my colleagues' interest in where Sidekick was and if I was doing okay without him.  I laughed every time and told them I was totally okay (and I wasn't lying).

I hadn't seen him since Sunday night, and didn't see him until I picked him up from school on Friday.  That was a long time!  When I showed up, he was playing with something.  He looked at me and went back to what he was doing.  He took a double take, yelled "Momma", ran towards me, wrapped his arms around me, and told me how much he had missed me.  There is nothing better than that!  How can I love this kid so much?

In all honesty, I didn't really miss him (which I feel guilty admitting).  I knew he was in good hands, and I honestly enjoyed being away from him and being "free".  Yes, I was stuck at a sales conference and in meetings all day and events each night, so I wasn't doing anything fun, but I didn't have feed my kid, get him ready and out the door for school, bathe him, walk the dog, etc.  I felt free, and I loved it!  When I got home, it was a bit of a transition and was thrown into our regular lives once again.  Every once in a while, out of the blue, he'll say, "Don't leave me, Momma."  I have to reassure him that I'm not going anywhere again for a long time.

We had an interesting conversation the other night.  My best friend and her family are coming in town this weekend.  While we were talking about seeing them, for some reason this is how our conversation went:

Sidekick:  We don't have a Matt (husband/dad).
Me:  That's right, Buddy. We don't.
Sidekick:  We don't have a Lauren, eeder. (one of my friends' daughter)
Me:  No, we don't. 
Sidekick:  It's just you, me and Ah-mee! (what he calls Dog)

He was so proud of himself for his realization of who/what our family is.  He was so happy!  I had to take a deep breath during this conversation because I never thought we'd be having a conversation like this as soon as he turned 2 1/2.  I'm amazed that he is so aware of the world around him and that our family is different than 98% of the families he knows.  I'm also grateful that he is weaning me into this difficult conversations to come about how our family came to be. I guess my idea that we wouldn't be talking about this for a couple of more years was wrong.  I've always been an open book with everyone about how Sidekick was conceived, so I'm certainly not going to hide it from him, but Wow!  I wasn't expecting the questions/conversations to start so early on in his life. 

For my fellow SMCs... when did your kids start realizing his/her family is "different"?

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