Thursday, February 5, 2015


I always thought that it would be easier to "find" new friends and connect with them once Sidekick was old enough to go out an about and do things.  Having him has put me in activities and outings that I wouldn't normally do. What I have found is that it's tough to connect with people as a SMC because my world is different than a more "traditional" family.  I wonder if it's because some women don't want to leave their husbands out of outings with the kids especially on the weekends.  Weekends are family time, not hang out with Sidekick and his mom time, so I struggle with this which makes me feel lonely sometimes. 

Since Sidekick has been playing soccer, I have become friendly with a couple of the moms.  One of the moms (we'll call X) and I had an interesting conversation the first time we talked at soccer.  The kids are now on the soccer field by themselves, so I get the opportunity to talk to some of the moms and dads.  After a little chit chat, X asked me if "we" have any more kids.  When I said no, she asked if "we" are going to, and like I usually do, I explained that I am a SMC.  She got so excited for me and told me that since she had found her husband later in life, she would have done the same thing had she not gotten married.  I asked about her family, and she hesitated and said she does have a son, but he died 1 1/2 years ago!  Good Lord, talk about an awful thing to hear.  From what I have gathered in the short communication and random thing she says at times, he was in surgery and the anesthesiologist messed up. He was about 2 1/2... Sidekick's age. How does one respond to that???  I just wanted to lean over and hug her. Their daughter was nine months old at the time, and I can only assume that she kept them going every day.  At that moment, I looked at Sidekick running around on the soccer field and couldn't imagine losing him. My heart was heavy for this family. I don't think I would ever survive if something happened to Sidekick.  I couldn't.

X is getting a Golden Retriever puppy in a couple of weeks. Last weekend, she invited us to go visit the litter. Sidekick was so loving and caring towards them and was particularly drawn to the runt (on his left in the pic).  He literally sobbed when we left after almost two hours. 

But I digress... X and I had fun and for just getting together with her and her daughter for the first time with a really long drive to the dog breeder, it wasn't awkward at all.  What I struggle with is that after any outing with a friend and her child, while they go back to their family that consists of more than a mom and child, Sidekick and I go back to Dog. It kind of tugs at my heartstrings, and I go from this upbeat feeling about life to a little bit of loneliness.  Will Sidekick ever feel this way?
I want to get together with people for play dates and activities, but I find that it's awkward when a dad is thrown into the mix.  Why leave a Dad behind because in a "normal" family, both dads would come along for the adventure? I have no problem with the Dad being there, especially if he's a good role model, and actually welcome it because it puts a man in Sidekicks' present world. However, I'm not so sure how he feels about hanging out with two women.  Ha!
So anyway, my world feels lonely somehow.  Does this hit home with anyone else?  Am I the only one that thinks/feels like this? 
Last night before I laid my sweet boy in his crib, he said, "It's just you and me, Momma. You make me happy."  Did he know that I needed to hear something like this?  I just gave him an extra hug or two, kissed him on his forehead, and told him I loved him.  And then I remembered that without him, my life would be really sucky.  : )

1 comment:

  1. Yep, our boys have a knack for saying what we need to hear.

    When my boys were younger, I tried to mitigate the isolation by reaching out to "moms groups" but they only had weekday morning activities. As a single, working mom, that didn't work. The thought that these moms worked their "social" schedules around their husbands made me feel even lonelier. I have to say, it got better as boys got older. Soon every family ONLY had weekends free and more activities got scheduled.