Friday, May 15, 2015

Playing the Single Mom Card

I don't think I have ever really played the Single Mom card.  I don't think I've ever played the "woe is me" game.  When times get tough with Sidekick, I plow through because that's the only choice I have. But right now, I wish I had another option. 

After this week, I am playing the Single Mom card.  I. Need. An. F'n break from this kid!  He is pushing every f'n button available. He found them all. And he found some that I never knew I had. I have breezed through the first two years and ten months of his life, but that has come to a screeching halt.  For whatever reason, as he is approaching three, I can't seem to get a grip. When he is being a shit, I can't keep my shit together.  I've been warned that three sucks, and those people are right.

I find myself yelling at him and getting more frustrated than ever.  I wonder if he thinks I suck at being a Mom. I think he hates me, but thankfully he always tells me he loves me at the most needed times. I have fought him every morning this week from the minute I get him out of jail (his crib).  He fights me on going potty and then getting dressed.  He then gets pissed that I have made his breakfast (something I've always done before he wakes up), and that turns into a melt down. A melt down turns into a time out.  A timeout turns into both of us yelling. Okay, me more than him, but he has definitely learned how to yell (and, by the way, try to hit me). 

Maybe I should feel relieved that he's been a real PITA at school this week as well, not just with me.  The director has tried to make me feel better by explaining that he's three and he's smart, so he is testing everyone while trying to be independent.  I still don't feel better.  I'm still not his #1 fan this week.

Apparently his ears are broken because he doesn't seem to be hearing me lately.  When he knows I'm getting angry because he's not doing what I asked him to do, he runs to me with open arms saying, "I'm tho thorry, Momma."  If only that fixed everything. 

So, I need a break.  I don't have family in the same state, and for one of the few times Sidekick has been alive, I wish I did.  I want to turn him over to someone and walk away, just for a couple of hours... or a day. I'm not picky.  I don't want to feed my kid meals, wipe his butt, and deal with his temper tantrums at the moment.  I dreaded picking him up from school today because I am now stuck with him until Monday morning on a weekend predicted to have constant rain. 

You know what?  Being a single mom can really suck!  Being a single mom is hard work!  Being a single mom is exhausting!  I feel it right now, and I don't feel it often, but when I do, it's really bad. Regardless of how hands-on a husband may or may not be, I could at least walk away when my kid was sleeping and slowly roam the aisles of Target in peace and quiet because someone was home with him. As a single mom, I don't have that luxury. 

Here's hoping my child is still alive on Monday.  Here's hoping I haven't lost my mind by Monday.

Thanks for listening to me bitch (and ignoring all of my swear words.)

1 comment:

  1. Yep, that has been our last two weekends. Our main blow ups have been in the afternoons...I'm exhausted and need some down time and he no longer naps. Of course, when you are out and around other people he is the world's sweetest child, so he can totally control it! It is hard. I may or may not have been putting to sleep 30 minutes earlier lately just because I need a break. I have also told him that I need a timeout, and I'm going into my room for a few minutes to be alone. After about five minutes, I've usually calmed down and we sit down to calmly talk about how we both need to keep working as a team, and that has helped. We have had a ton of rain here too lately, and it makes it hard to burn off their energy (which is odd because it just makes me want to sleep). Hang in there, and do take a break when you need it! (Also feel free to message me to chat and vent as needed, I get it, and there will be no judgement!!!)