Well, after 11 days, we finally ran into our neighbors/ex-friends tonight. We were outside playing when E and T drove by. She didn't even look at us. Next thing I know, T is walking down to visit which was kind of awkward. I'm surprised E let him come down. I've explained to Sidekick that they are not our friends anymore, and he always says, "Momma sad." So now WTF do I say to him?
T came down alone, but I had a glimmer of hope that E might join him, but she didn't. Of course not! Sidekick normally hugs T and worships him, but tonight he didn't interact much with him. Was Sidekick being loyal to his Momma? To make T not feel awkward, I just asked him about school, basketball, Halloween, etc. I miss that kid! It made me sad because I wonder what he knows, and I feel like it puts him in an awkward position because unlike Sidekick, he can makes sense of things. It's not fair to him.
After about 20 or so minutes, E went out to get the mail, and when T saw her, he yelled down asking if he needed to come home. She yelled back that dinner was ready, so he left. Sidekick didn't really care that he was leaving. I was sad about this whole situation, but I think I was just plain pissed at how it played out. She couldn't even wave! Nothing! I just wanted to yell, "Grow the F up, E!" (Gosh, I have been swearing a lot about this lately!)
When we came inside, I asked Sidekick if he played with T. His response was, "Yes. Momma sad." I was already so angry with E, especially since she cut off all ties with us and Sidekick was so close to them, but now she's messing with him again by bringing T back into his life. I want to tell T that he can't play, but that's not fair to either of the boys because they've done nothing wrong. I also feel like it's very immature of me to act that way, so I will suck it up and be an adult. Maybe this is somehow is how our prayers are being answered???? Sidekick has mentioned them in his prayers every night. Tonight he reminded me that we had forgotten to pray. With his hands folded together, he said, "Have to pray, Momma." E, T, and D were at the top of his list.
So... when I thought I was getting over this and feeling a bit better about the whole situation, tonight opened up some of the wounds again. What a mess! How do I protect Sidekick this time around??? How can she be such a cold hearted bitch when we used to be so close?!?!?
I can't really offer any advice or help, but I'm sorry, E. treats you like that!
ReplyDeleteas a side note: Yes, you can be an adult about this situation and suck it up, but Sidekick can't! If meeting T hurts him too much, you should probably tell him that he can't play with T anymore. But before that you could try to explain to him, that if T still wants to be friends with him you are fine with it and won't be sad about it. He's probably confused and reacted so reserved because he didn't wanna hurt you.
Hope you'll find a way to ease the mess E created!
I can relate somewhat. We had daily contact with a neighbor (my sons were in her home for daycare) until a situation developed. For two years we've watched each other come and go about our daily lives without a word or eye contact. I am not without fault in this and neither is she. It's just sad and, yes, awkward.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how old your son is. My daughter is 4 1/2 and at that age, their friendships luckily are not like yours and mine as adults, but more in the moment. For a 4 1/2 year old it's more like they will be friends with a girl because she is wearing sparkly pink shoes, and then it's another girl. It's good that they are in the moment when things like this happen. It protects them-I hope that makes you feel better, because it's true.
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