My good friend, Meggan, had a baby girl yesterday. I was lucky and privileged enough to have gotten to hang out with them last night. She handed me that sweet bundle of joy and said, "You will have one soon." She told her newborn daughter that soon I will have Charli (Charlotte, my girl's name) for her to play with. My heart melted. Could it be? As I held that baby and stared at her sweet little face, I began freaking out inside. This could be me in less than 12 months! Meggan told me how in love she was with her daughter already, and I want to know what that is like.
Meggan's parents (who came in town), her two sets of in laws, and her sister-in-law were all in the waiting room for the delivery. My family lives in different states, so I will not be lucky enough to have all the support that Meggan has. I know that I am going into this solo and cannot and will not expect help from others. I can't because that is just not right since this is a decision I am making, but any help I do get would be a gift. I am told that if anyone can do this, I can.
Meggan has been very open with me about everything with regards to being pregnant, having the baby, and the "after effects" of the baby being out. She definitely hasn't held any of the grusome details back! I was there when she had to get cleaned up from all the blood she was losing. I was there when they checked her incision and changed the bags of ice that were strapped to her abdomen. I was there when they made her lay on her side, and saw the effort it took to get her in the least painful position. I was there when they made her painful, c-sectioned body sit up on the edge of the bed for the first time. It's all seems so overwhelming, and while she said it all kind of sucks, she also said it is all worth it.
When I got home, I texted a friend of mine who has three children (one is 6 weeks old), and she reassured me that everything I am thinking and feeling is normal. She told me everything I needed to hear. One of her text messages was, "There are tons of single parents out there. You have so much love to give this little one and she will be so lucky to have you as her mom." I am absorbing everything so differently with being around this newborn baby. I look at her differently than any other baby I have ever held in my arms. I look at this baby as my future and while it'll be challenging, it will all be worth it! The days on the calendar are quickly flying by!
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