Halfway Through Sidekick's First Year of Life

It's hard to believe that around this time last year I had just announced I was pregnant to my colleagues and Facebook friends (I waited until about 16 weeks to let the cat out of the bag), and now my little guy is able to sit up on his own! I am just amazed at how much he has changed in just 6 1/2 short months. He brings me so much happiness, and while being a single mom can be a challenge at times (primarily when it comes to laundry and cleaning), my little Sidekick just blends into my life.  I don't feel like he has disrupted my life at all.  I still go out to dinner, go shopping, go for four mile walks (now with him), sleep great (better than before I was even pregnant), and enjoy life (more).  He has added to my life and made it so much more fulfilling.

I want a second baby.  Yep, I do.  I've wanted one for a while.  Part of it is because I love being a mom and can handle being a single mom, and the other part is because Sidekick is such an incredibly good baby. He would make anyone want to have a baby.  Unfortunately, because of finances, I can only afford one.  Daycare is really expensive, and if I hadn't started saving long before I started trying to get pregnant, I'd be strapped.  I jokingly asked the owner of his daycare if she would give me a "two for one".  While she completely supports what I have done, she won't do that, but she did say that she'd give me a great discount. So it appears that if I can't find a great guy to marry and have another baby, it'll just be me and my Sidekick, and I am a-ok with that!

Since I've resigned to the fact that I'll only have one baby, I have started selling his baby equipment that he is not using and putting the money into his college fund.  There's no sense in keeping any of it for the possibility or hope that I'll get married and have another baby.  If I do, then I'll just start all over with my husband. In the meantime, it's time to get rid of the old stuff and make room for the new stuff in my little, cramped condo.

Life is great with my Sidekick. We never know where life will take us, but I believe that what's meant to be is meant to be.  I thought that each and every time I had my eight IUIs. It had to be the "right" egg and the "right" sperm to get my perfect baby, and if it wasn't meant to be then I would not have Sidekick.  Before my eighth try to get pregnant I had decided that was going to be my last because I was emotionally and physically drained.  I was originally going to try six times, but for some reason I forged ahead, and I have Sidekick to show for it. It's funny how things work out...

It's Been Such a Long Time!

I try to keep Sidekick's journal and baby book updated, and while that's difficult, this blog seems to be on the back burner.  Here's a recap of the past six months:

1.  He has always been a great sleeper!  He started sleeping eight hours at four weeks old and 12 hours at nine weeks old. 
2.  He has always been a happy, easy, funny baby.
3. He started school at 13 weeks old, and he is and always has been one of the favorites (of course I love this!)
4.  He's a tiny little guy and while he's long at 27 inches, he is not quite 16 pounds (six month appt).
5.  He loves our dog-- especially when she licks his fingers.  He laughs so hard!
6.  His favorite song has always been "Wheels on the Bus" (especially when I make up new "sounds" that are on the bus).
7.  He has plagiocephaly (bad flat spot on the back of his head).  While it was recommended he get a helmet, I requested one month to make a positive change with his measurements with repositioning.  We made great progress, and I now have one more month to get him in the "normal" range.  Phew!
8.  He loves every food he has tried! He has yet to spit out, gag, have problems swallowing, etc.
9.  He loves reading books!  He already has favorite ones and others he isn't interested.
10.  He can roll over front to back and back to front, but he's lazy when it comes to back to front.
11.  He can sit up on his own for longer than 30 seconds.
12.  He went under water at 5 1/2 months old and loved it.  I can't wait to get him in swim lessons.
13.  He took his first plane ride to Florida for Christmas, and he was great! 
14.  He loves long walks, and when the weather is nice, he'll sit in his stroller for up to 4 1/2 miles. 
15.  I never knew how much I could love someone immediately and unconditionally.  

I'll try to get better about writing. Being a single mom can be really hard, but despite how tired I am, how much laundry I have to do, and how much cleaning I have to do, it doesn't matter because it's all worth it, and I love this little guy more than anything!  It doesn't hurt that I truly have the perfect baby.  We "get" each other, we are in sync with one another, and we are very, very happy!  There were times when I was pregnant that I wondered if I was making the right decision.  Without a doubt, this is the best thing I have ever done!

My Beautiful Baby is Here!

It's been quite a while since I have posted anything, but I have been really busy with my sweet little boy!  My beautiful baby, to whom I'll refer as Sidekick, decided to arrive exactly one week early much to everyone's surprise.  I actually always thought he would be born on July 7th, so when water trickled down my leg on the morning of the 7th, I was kind of in disbelief.  I finally decided to go to Labor and Delivery about four hours later just to get checked because I had plans that night, and I wanted peace of mind that I was not in labor.  I grabbed my suitcase, threw it in the car, and drove myself to the hospital.

When I got to the hospital, the doctor couldn't confirm if my water broke, so I was a little embarrassed that I may have actually pee'd on myself.  They kept me though because I was dilated to two centimeters when I was only one centimeter two days earlier.  They wanted me to walk the halls, and about ten minutes in, there was a big gush!  Yep!  My water broke... again! I was there to stay to deliver my baby.  (Looking back, the doctor did confirm that that trickle  down my leg was in fact my water.)  I truly believe that the massage, focusing on the trigger points, got this little guy going.  Two days prior to my water breaking, I was still one centimeter dilated, and I had been that way for many, many weeks!   There was no sign this baby was going to join the world on his own.  A day after my weekly appointment, I got the massage, and my water broke 15 hours later. Coincidence... I think not!  : ) 

After laboring for hours, it was discovered that I had another bubble of fluid that needed to be broken, so my water essentially broke three times.  Once that bubble of fluid was broken, the pain and contractions were so intense that I got my epidural.  After 21 hours of being in labor, I began pushing at 6:30 AM and Sidekick was born on July 8th at 8:48 AM weighing in at 8# 9 oz and was 21 inches long.  I was instantly in love, and I was so worried that I wouldn't feel an immediate connection with him. 

Since I used a sperm donor, there was no telling what my baby would end up looking like, but he truly is beautiful! Donor and I made such an amazing baby, and I am truly blessed. 

Single Digits!

I am down to the wire!  I am nine days away from my due date, and I can't believe that I will soon meet my baby.  If I don't deliver by my due date, July 15th, I will be induced on July 17th due to his size.  I really, really don't want to be induced, so I am hoping that he'll come on his own.  I am getting a massage today and a pedicure tomorrow, and I'm going to ask both of the people "working" on me to hit every trigger point possible! 

We are having our ninth day of triple digits temperatures, so getting outside to walk is difficult.  Lately I've been heading out around 9:30 PM and it's still in the mid 90's!  I have been doing squats in hopes that may work.  While I used to be a rockstar doing squats, I find it so much more challenging now which makes them difficult and exhausting.  I may just have to go to the gym and walk on the treadmill even though I am so fearful that my water will break. 

Sleep has been worse than ever!  I average about 3-4 hours of interrupted sleep a night, but I try to remind myself that it is great preparation for when baby arrives. I find it impossible to nap during the day which frustrates me because I know I need to sleep and reserve my energy, but I can't.  I'm having SI joint pain (previous injury) and sciatica, so lately when I lie down, I am pretty tingly and numb from my hips down.  It's such a crazy feeling and it keeps me up at night.  This little guy also likes to have a party all day long and sleeps very little so he keeps me up at times as well.  I think I'm finally ready to evict him.

Above is Dog snuggling with her soon-to-be brother and feeling him kick.  So sweet!


Below is video of this baby kicking me for hours at a time!  It's getting really old!

Dress Rehearsal

Last Saturday, I took an unexpected trip to Labor & Delivery.  After six+ hours of my stomach being super tight and not really loosening up, my mom encouraged me to call the doctor to run it by him/her (whoever was on call).  The doctor called me back and told me that I should go in and get checked.  I put my suitcase in the car and drove myself over.  My tour was scheduled for two days later, so I wasn't sure where I was supposed to go.  I made it to some type of area that looked like for people like me, and said to she woman behind the desk, "I'm not sure I'm in the right place."  She looked at me, and said, "Well, you definitely fit in here.  What's going on?"

I got to a room quickly and hooked up to monitors.  I explained that I had no intention of staying that night because I wasn't mentally ready for this little guy.  I learned that I was contracting regularly every three minutes.  Yikes!  I was 1 cm dialated and about 30% effaced, so they kept me for a while to see if I would progress anymore.  I hadn't, so I was eventually sent home still contracting every three minutes because I wasn't in severe pain. 

This little guy has been crazy active!  He seems to be constantly kicking and/or punching me.  I'm afraid he has turned into a cat napper which is not a good thing.  I want/need a good sleeper.  He already has a plan of his own.   I'll be 38 weeks on Sunday, so who knows when he'll enter the world.  I'm thinking that he has his own agenda and will be entering this world before his due date.  I can't believe how fast time has flown!

Catching Up...

It's been quite a while since I have written, but I have been so busy that I haven't found time to write (or maybe it's just because I am too lazy).  I am six weeks away from my due date which is completely crazy! When my friends or sister were pregnant, they seemed pregnant for years!   With me, my pregnancy is flying by! 

My third trimester has been a breeze just like the second.  I am still not tired (although I find myself slowing down more lately) and I have insomnia most nights.  Fortunately during the day, I feel fine despite the lack of sleep I am getting.  I am unable to work out as much or even walk my dog at a fast pace because of my ligaments stretching and the pressure down low.  It's strange to lose control of my body and not be able to do the things I so easily used to do.  However, I am fortunate that I feel as well as I do.

My mom came in town back in April to help me do the nursery.  While I have not used pregnancy as an excuse to get out of anything (lifting my heavy boxes for work, moving furniture, running up and down my stairs a billion times to haul things up, etc.), I did draw the line with painting because the fumes were just so strong.  So my mom did a great job painting the nursery and the baby's bathroom.  I am amazed at how much time it takes to get ready for a baby!  I find myself doing things every weekend to finalize everything (laundry, organizing, getting more things for the nursery, etc.).  It truly is amazing the amount of hours I have put into getting ready for this little guy.

My sister and good friend threw me a baby shower.  We had a great time, and the support and excitement everyone has for this little bundle of joy is wonderful!  It brings such a smile to my face when I think of all the love this little guy will have around him. Everyone made a page on a computer program that will become a book for the baby, and I can't wait to see what everyone wrote to him.  I love reading so much, so of course this was a perfect activity/gift. 

The following weekend, I went to my mom's house in Lake Geneva, WI and we had a luncheon with my Chicago friends.  We laughed so much and had such a great time!  It was great to celebrate with those people especially since I don't see them very often.  I'll travel back up there in August after the baby is born and spend some time up there with my mom.  I might as well take advantage of not working and enjoy being in a great town for a couple of weeks. 

So... the clock is ticking, and I have a long list of things to do.  My goal is to be entirely ready for his arrival two weeks before my due date.  It seems doable, but at the same time, it seems a bit overwhelming!  I'm not quite ready to evict him especially since my third trimester has been so easy, so I hope he doesn't surprise me and decide to come sooner!  I'm quite content with him cooking inside me.

I am a Failure...

... of the one hour glucose test.  My level was supposed to be 135, and mine was actually 187.  I would have been officially diagnosed with gestational diabetes if it had been at least 200.  I sat in the doctor's office for three hours yesterday camped out with my iPhone, a book, and my work blackberry.  I fasted for 12 hours before the test even began and actually looked forward to the "double the sugar" orange drink (compared to the amount I had for the one hour test) that I got to drink because I was hungry.  BBB started rockin' and rollin' and it lasted for about an hour.   He was definitely happy and having fun!  After four blood draws, I inhaled my PB&J sandwich in about three bites and couldn't guzzle my big water bottle fast enough.  I will get the results back today, and I'm pretty much thinking that I do have gestational diabetes because that one hour number was so darn high!  The good news is, it is controllable and will not harm my baby if I am smart and watch what I eat.  Things could definitely be worse.  

B Cubed Still has No Name

Is there anything wrong with his first name being listed as B Cubed on his his birth certificate?  How do people find out they are having a boy or girl and automatically know his or her name will be ____?  I can't do it!  I have three great names picked out (middle name is the same for all three), and while I love them all, they are all so different.  I think if I wait a year or so, I might be able to pick the "right" name.  How does one pick a name without knowing what his personality is let alone what he looks like?  Am I the only one struggling with this?  I think this stresses me out more than him actually entering the world and changing my whole life!  I think he shall remain B Cubed until I see his face and spend some time with him.  I realize that he has to have a name before I leave the hospital, but unless I can hang out there for a year, it's going to be a tough to decide on one.


On a different note, I had my four week check-up last week.  While I eat about the same amount as I did before I got pregnant (and in many cases less) and I continue to work out or at least walk my dog for 30 minutes a day, I can't quite figure out where the 20 pounds has come from! My goal was to gain 25 pounds total, and that clearly isn't going to happen.  Since B Cubed only weighs a little over a pound, where did the other 19 pounds come from? I've been told by everyone that I'm only showing in by belly and nowhere else.  It makes me feel better that my pregnancy is not taking over my entire body. Let's hope it stays that way! Yesterday was the first day that I was unable to button my work pants which kind of bummed me out, but at least I made it 24 weeks wearing my "regular" pants. I'm hoping that I can continue to wear my work pants with the belly band for the remainder of my pregnancy.  


I tried to convince my doctor that I needed to have another ultrasound, and here's how that conversation went:


Me:  "I think I should have another ultrasound."
Doctor:  "Really?  Why?"
Me:  "I don't feel him very often, so I want to make sure his arms and legs haven't detached."
Doctor:  "Let me write up that paperwork and see if the insurance will cover that claim."  (laughing)
Me:  "There isn't a code for that reason when filing?"


Despite my good effort, I did not get an ultrasound, but I did make her laugh.  I purchased a 3D ultrasound through Groupon.  My mom and I will be doing that next month, so I can see him again and in much  more detail.  Maybe then I'll be able to figure out his name... wishful thinking!

Needs vs. Wants

My condo has been on the market for five months. I have two bedrooms and two baths which is really just fine for me and my baby.  I work out of my home, and currently my office is in the soon-to-be nursery, but I've figured out where my office will be after the nursery is done.  While this place is just fine, we will grow out of it quickly, I have stairs to climb, I have a dog and no yard, and I have a neighbor that isn't the quietest.   It's not the ideal place, but at what cost does one get out of a not ideal place but one that is easily affordable, comfy, has enough space right now, and has neighbors who are excited about the baby and want to help?

I was going to take my condo off the market at the end of the month.  I've had a good amount of lookers, but no offers.  Yesterday I had a showing, and while I was registering for baby things, I had a missed call from my real estate agent.  When I called her back, I learned that I had an offer coming in!!!!  The woman LOVED my place!!!!  Panic completely set in while I waited for 2 1/2 hours for the contract to arrive because I was going to have a big decision to make.  I'm upside down in my mortgage right now, so I knew that I'd have to come to the table with money.  Based on the offer, I would have to come to the table with $23k!  Yikes!  As much as I would love to get out of this place, I was fighting the "need vs. want" battle!  I don't need a house.  I want a house, but at what cost?

I was on the phone with friends and family for hours asking their opinions/advice.  Some said counter offer so the money I had to bring to the table would be less while others said don't do it because I should hold on to that money.  As a SMC, I have to make sure that I can provide for my baby and not live paycheck to paycheck and have debt.  So, the "needs vs. wants" battle continued for 18 hours!  Could I financially do this?  Could I find a new home in time?  Would I have the energy to move in my third trimester and get an entire house ready instead of just a nursery?  While I thought all of this is possible, I was still hung up on taking such a large chunk of money out of my savings while still needing to take some more out for a down payment. 

In the end, I sadly turned down the offer without making a counter offer.  I didn't even want to bring $15k to the table if I could get a higher offer (which didn't seem possible), so I didn't want to play the negotiating game.  I am worried that this might have been my only chance to get out of this place, but I'm trying not to look back.  I'll try to sell in one year if I feel the need to get out.  In the meantime, I'm going to sit tight, get the nursery ready, nest, and raise my baby in my manageable condo..  That's the way it should be, right?  So, now my condo is officially off the market.  It's sad that I had to let that dream die, but I've got a bigger and better dream to focus on, and my dream of a house will be on the back burner for a while.  Hopefully when I pursue that dream again, I'll have more money in the bank thanks to a bonus check (let's hope!), more equity in my condo, and the possibility of being able to get a little higher of an offer.  Wishful thinking, I know, but it's what makes me okay with this very difficult decision that was complicated by hormones.

It's a...

BOY!!!!  I kind of thought I was having a boy due to the fact that is seems like most IUI babies tend to be boys.  Whether this is coincidence or fact, I'm not sure, but since IUIs are timed so perfectly to ovulation and the boy sperm get to the egg faster, it only makes sense. 

After seeing the infamous "three lines" on the ultrasound, I thought it was a girl.  I was a bit shocked to learn a second later that the middle line was longer than the other two which indicated a boy.  When the reality of finding out what I am having sunk in, I began having little breakdowns every once in a while because everything was all of a sudden more real and I had a lot to do before my baby boy arrives.  

My mom was in town for the ultrasound, and after my appointment, we visited the "scene of the crime" where B Cubed or BBB (Baby Boy B___ which is my last name) was conceived.  It was fun to see everyone at that doctor's office so excited about my healthy pregnancy!  After that, we visited the baby's daycare so my mom could give me her opinion (thumbs up!), and the shopping adventures began!  We picked out paint for the walls, ordered the furniture, bought some clothes, got my head on straight about where my office will go (it is currently in the soon-to-be nursery), etc.  During each little project, tears welled up in my eyes because again, I felt so incredibly overwhelmed by it all.  I had been so level headed the first 18 weeks of my pregnancy, but for some reason, the reality of this all has officially kicked in and my head seems to be spinning. 

We'd be shopping and walking down "boy" aisles when I'd comment, "I have to learn to play with dinosaurs and trucks" which kind of freaked me out.  But then I realized I wasn't sure if I really wanted to play with Barbies. I believed from the moment I got pregnant that this is the baby that is meant to be mine and regardless if pregnant mothers want a boy or a girl, we get the exact baby we are supposed to have.  I am supposed to have this baby boy growing in my belly.  I believe that, but in all honesty, it's taking some time to adjust to.

I always thought that it might be a little easier to raise a girl as a single mother because I can relate to her better than I can a boy.  I'm a bit worried about talking to my son about things as he grows up because I can't relate to the things he will face, but I'll figure it all out.  I have no choice.  Fortunately, I have great guy friends and my brother-in-law in my life who will be amazing role models to my son. The good news is I'm athletic, outdoorsy, and adventurous... all great things to to have when raising a boy!