I've been with my company for 16 years, which I'm pretty proud of. My company has been bought out so many times and has been under new management more times than I can remember. We were at our national sales meeting in early January, and quite frankly, it sucked. It was depressing. It was not what we needed. It was not fun at all. I hated every minute of it. What really sucks is that after Sidekick was so sick, I was so excited to get out of town, even if it was work related, but I sure hated where I was.
On September 1st, we were challenged to sell $150,000 of new business in Q4 (our slowest quarter), and the top ten account executives, would receive a $500 Visa gift card. I decided to play the game so I looked good, and I actually sold the required amount, which I took from my 2016 sales. During the awards at the sales meeting, my manager stood up and said that apparently no one had qualified for that gift card. I was PISSED! I immediately told him I had, and he asked me to send him an email with "documentation" which I did. Apparently, customers had to be billed by the 18th of December which was a Friday. My customer sent their order in that morning, but the company didn't bill them until Monday, so I didn't win! My manager has always been supportive and explained to his manager who he had in 2015 that it's not my fault the company did that. Unfortunately, we are under new management again, and they don't seem to give a shit. So while I played the game to make myself look good and help the company, I got screwed and didn't get the gift card. That left a very sour taste in my mouth and I began to not really care.
Fast forward to a week ago, and we were given our sales goals. Mine went up about $1.2 million, and our bonus structure is paying us $10,000 less. Does that make sense??? My manager explained to his manager that the company is setting us up for failure and that it is impossible his team will hit their number... not because we suck but because it's unreasonable. My manager's manager is a slave driver. He has no life, so he expects us to be on the road (I have a home office) five days a week and then do cost proposals, emails, etc. in the evening. Is he freaking kidding? I have a life and I don't get paid enough. The company dynamics knocked me into a bit of a depression...
I became a shitty mom. I mean to the point that Sidekick knew something was up. I cried easily, and I could barely talk about work. I lost my patience with Sidekick and snipped at him often. I was so overwhelmed with my job that I couldn't function. I seemed to not be able to keep up. It was horrible. And then I realized I had to get a grip and focus on what is important... my family. So Sidekick and I went out and enjoyed life! We had two weekends of warm spells, so we went hiking. Sidekick hiked 2 1/2 miles one day and didn't once ask for me to carry him. At the end, he still wanted to play in the playground. His energy is endless, and I love it! He is confident, fearless, and a free spirit... all things I needed to remind myself to be. Being out in nature with this amazing boy was just what I needed.
And then we shoveled snow, and played in it, and laughed, and then cozied up in front of the fireplace. I took it all in... the innocence of this sweet boy, his love for me, and his compassion and excitement for the world around.