Tuesday, June 2, 2015

The Loss of a Child (don't worry, not mine)

I think my last post (or the one prior) I mentioned my new friend of about six months a who lost her son when he was three years old.  He had gone into surgery, and the anesthesiologist made a mistake.  Their son was on life support for one week before they decided to discontinue life support.  Can you even imagine?  Seriously.  The thought just breaks my heart.  My friend has been so sad and has been communicating via text off and on.  I've just been checking in with her off and on to see if she needs anything or needs to talk.

His birthday was yesterday.  He would have been five.  Sidekick and I went to our favorite pond where we feed turtles and released a balloon for the little boy.  We talked about how his friend's big brother died and that he is in the sky/heaven (he put it together that the boy is with Grandpa Jack).  We let the balloon go, and I don't think I've ever seen a balloon fly so high.  Together Sidekick and watched it, and at one point he told me that the boy would be catching the balloon soon, and when the balloon disappeared, Sidekick was convinced he caught it.  So sweet.  My old soul just seems to understand so much.

We sent the picture below with a text.  My friend was so grateful that we acknowledged her son.  Unbeknownst to me, they had released balloons also. Their daughter who is three asked if she held onto all the balloons if they would take her to her big brother.  So sweet.  I cannot imagine what they are going through, and I can't imagine their loss will ever feel less of a loss.

It's one of those moments with the release of a balloon when you just hug your kids tighter and thank God (or whomever) for what you have.  It's a moment when you realize that the tantrums aren't so bad, that the stubbornness is a good horrible, that the power struggles are just the way that it's supposed to be. It's a moment when life is put into perspective, and all of the shit that once seems so awful just doesn't anymore.  It just doesn't.  They lost their beautiful little boy.
So... along with the release of the balloon for the little boy, Sidekick said we needed two balloons... one for the boy and one for his daddy.  Why?  Because he keeps telling me his daddy is dead!  Ugh!  I started the tradition on his first birthday that we release a balloon on his birthday honoring/thanking Donor, but now I wonder if that'll just confuse Sidekick because despite what I tell him, he believes his daddy is dead.  So who knows if I'll do that on his 3rd birthday next month. He couldn't possibly remember that we did it last year when he was two, could he? 
Do me a favor and gives you kids an extra hug and kiss and count your blessing before you go to sleep.

1 comment:

  1. Well, he might remember. That's not a bad thing except for the mix up about the donor being dead. Maybe start a new tradition for showing gratitude and save the balloons for these (sad, sad) memorials.