Sunday, June 21, 2015

It's Father's Day... It's Not My Day

Today is Father's Day. I'm not a father.  I'll never be a father. I don't give a shit that it's Father's Day. I chose to have a child on my own knowing that there would be no father. So, why should I waste my energy thinking that this day should also be about me?  I won't.  I refuse. To me and Sidekick, it's Sunday, the day before we go back to school and work after having an awesome staycation for an entire week. 

I also don't focus on Mother's Day, and I'm obviously a mother. Like Father's Day, it's a stupid Hallmark Holiday, and I honestly don't believe that I should get any type of gratitude or praise on a random Sunday in May.  I don't.  I chose to be a mother, and I don't need a day focused on me to feel appreciated or loved.  I feel loved every day because Sidekick tells me he loves me more times than I can count on two hands every single day.  I don't need a day all about me.

SMC are not fathers. While we may play the role of both parents, we are not fathers.  My son will never call me Dad (well, actually, he has been calling me "Daddy" a lot lately, but that's another blog entry).  So, why should this day be focused on me?  It shouldn't.

Many other SMCs feel differently.  Many were upset about the craft that their child made for them at school/daycare.  Why waste energy on being upset because the school didn't acknowledge in some type of way that her child didn't have a dad?  We wanted something so badly and we achieved that amazing goal on our own.  I don't need accolades on Father's Day. 

My mom even texted me wishing me Happy Father's Day.  I told her the day is not mine, and she disagreed.  I know many would disagree with me, and that's okay.  Yes, I'm pulling double duty, but it's a day to celebrate Dads... not the fact that my son doesn't have a Dad. I feel pretty strongly about that.  Why draw attention to a day that doesn't really apply to my son's life?

So today was Sunday... a day when we ran errands, played with dump trucks and mulch, and Sidekick insisted on sweeping the front porch to kill "all da dead bugs" despite how hot and sweaty he was.  It was a good great Sunday with my boy who shows me so much love and kindness every single day. He takes such good care of me, and I am trying to raise him to be a great husband and father.  Hopefully one day, Sidekick will be celebrating this day with his kids.

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