Thursday, December 2, 2010

The Dream

Last night I had a very vivid dream that seemed so real. I hate the ones where I am kind of sad when I wake up because it was all just a dream:

I was driving in my car with my baby girl. No one in my family knew that I had had her (let alone that I was pregnant). We drove to my sister's house. I left my baby in the car for a few minutes while I was talking to my sister at the front door. I then told her I had something to show her, and I went to my car to get my baby. Even with this baby in front of her, she couldn't get past the unconventional way I did things and decided to tell me what she thought. Here was her sweet, beautiful niece in front of her, and she had to tell me what a bad decision I had made. My mom on the other hand took it better, but I didn't tell her until I met her at a store and needed to pick up things for my baby, so she was obviously shocked by the surprise. She seemed to roll with the punches much better than my sister as we walked around the store getting baby supplies.

It's interesting how much I take my real life to sleep with me at night. Things played out in my dream the way I fear things will in real life with regards to people's reactions. All I keep thinking about is that for a few minutes in my dream, I had a baby girl, and I was thrilled and proud. I know there will be people in my life who will disagree with what I am doing, but I can't let that stop me from fulfilling my dreams. If people don't like what I am doing, then clearly they are not my friends, nor do they really know who I am and what I am capabable of doing. Maybe I am entirely wrong about how people will react, but all I can focus on is that I yearn for a child, and I cannot imagine my life without one.

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