Sunday, September 18, 2016

No Pressure... It's just $1 millon!

I'm currently trying to close a $1 million dollar account, and the order will come in in December.  While this won't get me to my sales goal (because that went up 50%, thank you very much company), it will get me closer and a little bigger of a bonus check. The pressure is on, and all eyes are on me right now.  I feel it coming from all directions in my company, and I need my personal life to be as calm as possible so I can focus.  Like that would actually happen...

Sidekick started coughing on Sunday and didn't sleep well all night.  I told the director at his school the next morning that I will not be answering their call the next four weeks because I have way too many important things going on with work to focus on Sidekick.  Haha.  Lo and behold, Sidekick had his own agenda and woke up at 2:45 AM very distraught that the pictures (of himself) on the walls were moving and changing colors.  Totally confused, I had him show me and obviously didn't see what he was seeing, I immediately felt his forehead and he was burning up.  His temperature was 104.7.  He was seriously freaking out about these pictures, so I called the exchange because of this strange hallucination he was having.  The nurse on call was definitely worried, and when she asked me to check him for a rash, he told me that Mickey Mouse was on his ceiling, and the nurse heard that which made her a little more concerned.  I gave him Motrin and was told if the fever didn't go down a degree within an hour, then I needed to take him to the ER. So, worried that someone may need to take care of Dog and seeing my not-so-clean-kitchen, I started cleaning at 3:45 AM, just in case (like anyone would even care if my kitchen counters had shit on them. Goodness gracious!).  His fever did get lower, and at 4:45 AM, he was still awake in his bed, and I was awake in my bed catching up on my DVR.  He finally fell asleep around 5:15, and I didn't. It was a long day and began worrying about meetings that I would be missing that day.

His doctor wanted to see him even though his fever had broken within hours after only one dose of Motrin to rule out pneumonia.  We went in and got the all clear, and the next day he went to school.  Wednesday morning at around 5:45 AM about 45 minutes before I had to wake up, Sidekick woke up screaming and crying that he had a bloody nose.  Already lacking on sleep because of several days/weeks of insomnia and a late night phone call with a friend, I dragged myself out of bed to clean him up.  His bedroom looked like a crime scene!  There was blood everywhere!  From every piece of bedding to his arms and face to his carpet.  Good Lord!  Let's add something else to my full agenda for the day. In between work appointments, I rushed home to switch the laundry over. After my work appointments, I rushed home to pick up Sidekick from school, give him a bath, fed him an early dinner, and headed out to a work event for parents.  Yep! I took him with me, partly because I didn't want to pay for a babysitter and partly because he had been begging to go to work with me again.  He did great, and when the event was over, I rushed back home, made his bed, and threw him in bed because it was past his bedtime.

I feel like I am being pulled in so many different directions. I have this $1 million account looming over my head.  I need to be in so many different places at once for this big account and meeting with customers pretty much every day.  I can't keep up (or who am I kidding?  I can't even begin) with pre-working 2017 sales because I am all consumed with this big account. I feel like I am neglecting all of my other customers (even though I somehow get everything done that they need me to do) because my focus needs to be on this big account.  I kind of suck at being a Mom, and when Sidekick needs me the most, I feel like I can't give him what he needs. I can't find a balance right now between work and my personal life.  And oh yeah!  I desperately need to go running, and haven't done that in weeks.  The good news is, this will all come to a screeching halt when I find out in mid-October if I won the account, and I'm afraid where I'll "go" if I lose this account. So damn much is riding on it. 

But if anything good came out this week, it's that I was so freaking busy, that I didn't have time to be in a slump. Emotionally I felt better than I have in a several weeks.  I was more exhausted than ever, but I felt like I needed to cry less, which is a good thing.  Yes, I bitched in my last post that my life is tied up in work and Sidekick, but I was too busy to feel sorry for myself this week.  I guess that's a good thing. 

I deep cleaned my house yesterday and had a friend and her daughter come over for dinner and to play.  Sidekick loves to help me clean, so one of the tasks I gave him was cleaning three toilets. I explained it was very important to get all of the blue cleaner off the inside of the toilet, and he took his job very seriously.  Who knew it would take so long for a four year old to do that!  It was nice to have a glass of wine with a friend while our kids played.  Today was our monthly SMC meeting.  We have a small, active group here, but Sidekick gets along great with one of the boys. We spent three hours at the park and then came home and took Dog for a long walk while Sidekick rode his bike.

My focus to continue the momentum of feeling a little better and less in a slump was to keep busy this weekend and surround myself with people so that the loneliness didn't creep back in. I think I succeeded.  

And as I was just about click "Publish" to post on this blog, Sidekick got another bloody nose... and much of it is on my brand new carpet in my newly finished basement. It was another gusher!  I was somewhat trying to sound like sunshine and roses a little more than my previous post, but right now... FML.  Now lets add an ENT appointment into my busy, stressful life.   

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