Sunday, October 25, 2015

Happy Conception Day! (A Day Late)

Most people have no idea the precise day when their child was conceived unless she goes through some type of fertility treatment.  For Sidekick it was October 24th, 2011.  Four years ago, this "Threenager" was just starting to grow.  It's truly amazing, and I still can't get over the miracle of it all.

Sidekick was conceived on what was going to be my last IUI... Lucky #8!  I had run out of sperm, and it was emotionally, physically, mentally draining, and I didn't think I could do it anymore.  I was going to move on to adoption and had already chosen an agency.

I triggered 36 hours before my IUI, which happened to be the night before my last (see a pattern here?) half marathon.  Why my last?  Because my three previous races had done such horrible damage to my ankles and shins.  As a result I ended up with four stress fractures after crossing the finish line for one race and after another race, I ended up needed platelet injections to heal tendons and ligaments.  Though most thought I was crazy for continuing racing (and I was), training and running races was something else to focus on other and doing injections, timing the IUIs, and being in the dreaded TWW.  I did it all eight times, and it sucked each and every time. And I did it alone.  Friends and family didn't know each time I had an IUI because I didn't want to report back on bad news each time it didn't work.

While running my half marathon, I worried that my eggs would jiggle out sooner than they were supposed to. I remember mentally talking to them and begging them to not pop out until the next morning. I was all but sure Lucky #8 was going to be unsuccessful.  So, the morning after my race, I hobbled in, laid on the table, and had that little catheter inserted in me for the very last time.

My betas had always been wacky because I had to do another hcg injection during my TWW because I have something called Luteal Phase Defect.  It was a bit of a challenging diagnoses, but since I was taking my temperature every day, I noticed my BBT doing funky things during the TWW... further testing showed Luteal Phase Defect. 

Because of the hcg, home pregnancy tests were not reliable early on nor was one Beta.  My numbers were extremely crazy: 

11dpo:  15
14dpo: 37 (It had doubled, but it's supposed to double every 48 hours and it had been 72)
16dpo: 75 (While it doubled, it is a lot lower than the average and RE would like for it to have been well over 100)
18dpo: 182 (Typically two blood draws are done, but with my numbers so low, he wanted to continue monitoring me)

Imagine my surprise and my doctor's surprise when I went in for my first ultrasound and was pregnant with TWINS!!!!  I still remember that feeling and will probably never forget it. I knew it was possible to have twins because I was doing fertility meds, but I hadn't gotten one baby up to that point, so what was the likelihood of two?  It was the race!  I swear it was that jiggled out two eggs at the perfect time!

For many who didn't follow my journey from the beginning, if I did have twins, I was going to give one to my friends who were going through IVF with no success. I was okay with this plan, despite the controversy of it, but it was what was best for me and my babies.  I don't have family in the same state, and I couldn't afford daycare for two, so I had to have a plan before committing to fertility meds, and that was my plan.  

I laid on the table during my ultrasound saying "Shit" over and over and over again.  I immediately realized that one was meant to me mine and the other was meant to be a gift for my friends.  As much as I was prepared for that, I knew it would be extremely difficult.  I sobbed when I walked out and I sobbed for days afterwards.  No one even knew I was pregnant yet, let alone with two. 

I lost one of my twins early on, and I was okay with that.  I always say that it took two to get one amazing, happy, funny, healthy baby.  My friends who would have adopted one to this day never knew I had two.  I always wonder what it would have been like if I carried both to term.  I wonder if it was a boy or girl, if he/she would be similar to Sidekick as far as personality, looks, etc. But I am reminded every day of just how blessed and lucky I am that I got a good egg (haha-- literally and figuratively).

Happy Conception Day (one day late) to Sidekick!  What a journey we've been on!


1 comment:

  1. I'm a special education teacher and I have a hard time with reward systems. I know they work for a lot of kids and it's something I leaned to do in school and it's best practice for a lot of kids, but I've honestly been able to get away without having to use them. I was always able to give my students just what they needed without a reward system. My own children, that's a different story. They're animals! I love them dearly and they are amazing kids but I often wonder if I should have a reward system at home, then I remember that I don't have the patience for it. I'm with other people's kids all day, I just try to be patient with my own when I get home. Love the term "threenager!!!!"

    Happy conception day to you and sidekick. Such a special story you two have!