Friday, October 30, 2015

F'n Reward System for a Threenager

Okay... I admit it.  I'm a hard ass when it comes to Sidekick.  I expect a lot out of him and always have.  I'm strict, and I have high expectations for his behavior.  I'm consistent with him as far as disciplining.  I have a real problem with a reward system/chart... gasp!  I  know so many people's mouths just dropped while reading that. I hate rewarding my child for things that he should JUST do: things that I do on a regular basis like get dressed, make my bed, etc.  I don't get rewarded, so why should he?  I think that rewarding children is creating monsters in the end.  I think everyone getting a trophy (even if they are the loser) is bullshit.  When did all of this begin?  It didn't exist when I was a child. 

So while I've been dealing with a Threenager, I'm not about to implement a system in which he gets a reward every f'n day if he has a good day and does what is expected of him.  I have a friend who always seems to do a reward system with her two kids, and rewards her children every day if they got their stickers (or whatever they are using for a system).  WTF??  I don't have the time or the patience to do something like that, and I don't think Sidekick should have a system like that in place. Suck it up, boy!  This is life!

I was going crazy a couple of months ago because Sidekick was dragging his feet in the morning and it was taking us forever to get out the door.  So, I created a sticker chart, and if he had a perfect M-F week, his reward was ice cream (his choice).  After a few weeks, he got on track so we dropped the chart.  Here we are now and he's dilly-dallying again, and we've talked about doing the sticker chart again.  He cries every time and says he doesn't want one.  He sees it at punishment.  My friend who is always doing a reward system told me that I need to reward him every day if he gets his stickers.  I don't agree. 

Last week he was a monster.  His teacher was on vacation, so he was trying to push the teacher's (who was subbing) buttons.  On a day when he had Karate, I talked to him, the director, and the teacher and explained what was expected of him that day in order to go to Karate.  He had a bad day, and I left it up to them to determine if he There are consequences for our actions.  Why should he get to do something fun (what I consider a reward) if he's being an asshole???!!!!  No way.  You know what?  He straightened up after he missed Karate.

I realize that every kid is different and every parent is different, but I do not believe in an ongoing reward system where my child gets something special every day.  For goodness sakes, I'm keeping him fed, healthy, and alive.  Isn't that enough of a reward? 

My friend said that we have to agree to disagree, and I guess she's right.  But I'm curious... how much I am in the minority when it comes to something like that?  Maybe I'm wrong, but right now, I can't buy into creating a entire reward system just so that he will f'n get ready quickly so we can get out the door at the time I would like.  Is that too much to ask without rewarding him???

During our conversations of why I was frustrated, upset, disappointed, angry, etc. with him, he always, and I mean always asks, "Do you still wuv me?"  When I ask him what he thinks, he answers "Always."  He's right.  He's a pleaser.  He's a good boy.  He's a sweet, loving boy. I don't think he needs a reward system, and I'm sticking to that!

Sorry for the rant...

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