My life has been a whirlwind the past couple of weeks. Besides work being completely insane with really long hours, I had my condo on the market and had to worry about showings. Juggling that craziness with Dog and Sidekick was a bit of a challenge, but within two weeks I got a contract on my condo with a five week close! Eeek! The good news is, I was able to get the townhouse I put an offer on with a contingency a few weeks ago! While we didn't really negotiate that much with a contingency because Seller wasn't really willing to budge much, I went back in with a solid offer and a contact on my condo, and within two days, I was under contract with our new home! Holy smokes... can I say "breathe?" Since we didn't negotiate much with the contingency because I wasn't willing to pay as much as she wanted, I had to believe that if that townhouse was meant to be our home, then everything would work out, and it did. I'm surprised I ended up in a townhouse because I wasn't looking for one as I really wanted a single family home, but I just happened upon it, and it is perfect. It's totally upgraded and it's better than I ever though we would end up with.
While I was negotiating buying and selling, I decided surprise my mom and stepdad for the holiday weekend. At a very last minute, I picked up Sidekick from school early that Friday, packed, and hopped in the car to drive five hours to visit my mom and stepdad. They were so incredibly surprised to see us. My stepdad is very sick and only has a couple of months to live, so it was good to visit with him (even though I only saw him for brief moments because he sleeps so much). But being up there kept me more sane through all of the back and forth of signing contracts and my mom had so much fun with us. A few days after we got back home, it finally sunk it that I am moving.
I am really sad to be leaving my friends in our current neighborhood. My neighbor who is the door right across from ours is very sad we are leaving. We are such good friends, spend a lot of time together, and she loves Sidekick. She knows him second best to me. We hang out a lot with Sidekick and after he goes to sleep. Everyone in the neighborhood knows Sidekick, and they all love him (and me). There is such security and complacency here. While I am pretty excited about our new adventure, I can't believe I'll only be sleeping in my home three more weekends. This seems to be the fastest close ever, and I am so lucky the Seller is pretty much out of her place already so this could happen pretty smoothly. The next four weeks are going to be crazy, but at least we will be in a bigger home with so much room to spread out. I just hope Sidekick acclimates well. I worry about him. He has so many people that love him here. He has so many dogs he loves to play with. He has so much room to explore in the big field and the woods nearby. Ugh... why am I moving? I know we are only ten minutes away, but it seems like forever away.
Now I need to catch up on everyone else's lives in the blog world!
Prince Charming was nowhere to be found and my biological clock was ticking loudly and quickly. What's a woman to do? Shop for some sperm, take some fertility meds, and get pregnant! Join me in my journey as a Single Mother by Choice (SMC) and the ups and downs of raising my funny, loving, kind son, Sidekick, who shows me what love truly is.
Friday, May 30, 2014
Saturday, May 10, 2014
Confession of a SMC on Mother's Day
Okay, I hate to admit this. I really do, but I think it's kind of depressing being a SMC on Mother's Day. While I hear about everyone's plans for tomorrow, I get a little jealous that they have husbands, sisters, mothers, etc. with whom to share the day. I have none of that (family lives in different states). I've never gotten into the hype of holidays or birthdays, but for some reason, I find Mother's Day a less than stellar day for me.
While other mothers are being pampered, having breakfast in bed, going out to a restaurant with their families, etc., it is like any other day for me. I'll be finishing up laundry, running errands, and chasing after a toddler who is entering the terrible twos (All. By. Myself). I know that many other mothers will have a similar day as mine, but the other people in their lives will at least make it seem/feel like the day is all about them, if only for a couple of hours.
When people tell me to have a good Mother's Day, what the hell does that mean? What makes it different than any other day? Here's what would be great...
1. Could someone please get Sidekick up tomorrow morning so I can lay in bed a little longer before his demands begin?
2. Could someone please get Sidekick dressed and fed tomorrow morning so I can take a long hot shower and take my time getting ready without a whiny boy tugging on my robe?
3. Could someone please do a load or two of laundry so I can transport into someone else's world while I read a book on the sofa? Read? What's that?
4. Could someone please go to the grocery store for me, and oh yeah, and figure out what we need?
5. Could someone please just deal with one of Sidekick's temper tantrums so that for once I don't have to fight him?
Anyone? Anyone?
See... I'm totally not asking for much. I think I am just asking for a break just one day.
I have the most amazing little boy in my life. I wanted him more than anything I have ever wanted in my life. I was blessed to have him. I am grateful every day that this little boy chose me to be his mom. I love the pot he painted at school with his handprints as the flowers that he gave me yesterday. There is nothing more special than that. I can't imagine not having Sidekick, and I am so madly in love with him, so why the loneliness on Mother's Day?
(By the way, I'm dreading Father's Day in a totally different way.)
I don't think this entry makes much sense, so thanks for bearing with me. I could never utter these words to my married friends with kids. There are just certain things I won't talk to them about because they just don't "get" it. But, I can put it out in the blog world where no one knows me and many fellow SMCs follow my blog.
Thank you for listening. I feel badly (and maybe even a little selfish) for even writing this entry.
On another note, I decided to put this picture together to help me figure out who Sidekick resembles. (He definitely has donor's ears.) Sometimes it's strange to not really know his other half.
While other mothers are being pampered, having breakfast in bed, going out to a restaurant with their families, etc., it is like any other day for me. I'll be finishing up laundry, running errands, and chasing after a toddler who is entering the terrible twos (All. By. Myself). I know that many other mothers will have a similar day as mine, but the other people in their lives will at least make it seem/feel like the day is all about them, if only for a couple of hours.
When people tell me to have a good Mother's Day, what the hell does that mean? What makes it different than any other day? Here's what would be great...
1. Could someone please get Sidekick up tomorrow morning so I can lay in bed a little longer before his demands begin?
2. Could someone please get Sidekick dressed and fed tomorrow morning so I can take a long hot shower and take my time getting ready without a whiny boy tugging on my robe?
3. Could someone please do a load or two of laundry so I can transport into someone else's world while I read a book on the sofa? Read? What's that?
4. Could someone please go to the grocery store for me, and oh yeah, and figure out what we need?
5. Could someone please just deal with one of Sidekick's temper tantrums so that for once I don't have to fight him?
Anyone? Anyone?
See... I'm totally not asking for much. I think I am just asking for a break just one day.
I have the most amazing little boy in my life. I wanted him more than anything I have ever wanted in my life. I was blessed to have him. I am grateful every day that this little boy chose me to be his mom. I love the pot he painted at school with his handprints as the flowers that he gave me yesterday. There is nothing more special than that. I can't imagine not having Sidekick, and I am so madly in love with him, so why the loneliness on Mother's Day?
(By the way, I'm dreading Father's Day in a totally different way.)
I don't think this entry makes much sense, so thanks for bearing with me. I could never utter these words to my married friends with kids. There are just certain things I won't talk to them about because they just don't "get" it. But, I can put it out in the blog world where no one knows me and many fellow SMCs follow my blog.
Thank you for listening. I feel badly (and maybe even a little selfish) for even writing this entry.
On another note, I decided to put this picture together to help me figure out who Sidekick resembles. (He definitely has donor's ears.) Sometimes it's strange to not really know his other half.
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Finances and Adult Decisions
There are times when I think to myself how much it sucks to be a single woman with a child. All decisions are mine, and while I like that most of the time (disciplining the way I want, naming Sidekick on my own, deciding the routine I want Sidekick to be on, etc.), I am terrified when it comes to making BIG steps in my life... especially those involving money.
My condo is officially on the market, and I have made a contingent offer on a townhouse. I know the offer won't be immediately accepted, but it could be outright rejected because of the contingency of selling my condo. I wanted a house, but this townhouse is perfect, and I'm surprised I went that direction. It is much larger than our condo, great upgrades, large bedrooms/bathrooms, only seven years old, and in my price range. I guess this will be my next step to owning a single family home, but for now, this place is great for us.
I met with a financial planner last week to discuss how to prepare for retirement, save for Sidekick's college, and plan for the future (God forbid something happens to me when Sidekick is young). While I am quite a penny pincher and in a good financial situation, I'm not good enough to live as old as I'd like to without having Sidekick support me- haha! So, it scares me when I remind myself that is up to me, and me only, to be financially secure. I can make ends meet now without having any debt, but a bigger home with a bigger mortgage is going to make me really reevaluate my budget, and I refuse to have debt (other than a mortgage-- if that's considered debt). When I was thinking about being a SMC, I started saving for daycare. By the time Sidekick started daycare, I had 15 months of daycare saved. I couldn't have had him, if I hadn't done that. Why does money seem to rule our world???
It can be so discouraging when I see my married friends living the lifestyle they are. They can buy what they want, have really nice cars, live in large houses, their kids have everything they want and then some (which I totally do not agree with), and they don't have any debt either. How is this possible? They have TWO incomes! Ugh! Life would be easier with two incomes. Now I know the grass isn't always greener on the other side, but it sure would be nice to know that someone other than myself is responsible for our future, our home, etc.
Back to the offer on the townhome... we gave the seller until 10:00 tomorrow morning to respond. In celebration of Mother's Day, Sidekick and I are going to a Superhero Mom/Son dance party tonight, so even if my phone rings with news, I will be ignoring the phone while I am bonding and having fun with my son. After all... he is my superhero, and I am for sure his Super Mom! I am, right? : )
My condo is officially on the market, and I have made a contingent offer on a townhouse. I know the offer won't be immediately accepted, but it could be outright rejected because of the contingency of selling my condo. I wanted a house, but this townhouse is perfect, and I'm surprised I went that direction. It is much larger than our condo, great upgrades, large bedrooms/bathrooms, only seven years old, and in my price range. I guess this will be my next step to owning a single family home, but for now, this place is great for us.
I met with a financial planner last week to discuss how to prepare for retirement, save for Sidekick's college, and plan for the future (God forbid something happens to me when Sidekick is young). While I am quite a penny pincher and in a good financial situation, I'm not good enough to live as old as I'd like to without having Sidekick support me- haha! So, it scares me when I remind myself that is up to me, and me only, to be financially secure. I can make ends meet now without having any debt, but a bigger home with a bigger mortgage is going to make me really reevaluate my budget, and I refuse to have debt (other than a mortgage-- if that's considered debt). When I was thinking about being a SMC, I started saving for daycare. By the time Sidekick started daycare, I had 15 months of daycare saved. I couldn't have had him, if I hadn't done that. Why does money seem to rule our world???
It can be so discouraging when I see my married friends living the lifestyle they are. They can buy what they want, have really nice cars, live in large houses, their kids have everything they want and then some (which I totally do not agree with), and they don't have any debt either. How is this possible? They have TWO incomes! Ugh! Life would be easier with two incomes. Now I know the grass isn't always greener on the other side, but it sure would be nice to know that someone other than myself is responsible for our future, our home, etc.
Back to the offer on the townhome... we gave the seller until 10:00 tomorrow morning to respond. In celebration of Mother's Day, Sidekick and I are going to a Superhero Mom/Son dance party tonight, so even if my phone rings with news, I will be ignoring the phone while I am bonding and having fun with my son. After all... he is my superhero, and I am for sure his Super Mom! I am, right? : )
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
How Much Sleep Does my 22 Month Old Need?
Sidekick has always been a great sleeper, and he still is but...
When I put him in his crib around 7:45 PM, he is wide awake sometimes until 9:00! On those nights, I have to wake him up at 7:15 in the morning to get him ready to go to school. I'm certainly not complaining because he is happy and content in his crib, but I feel badly that he is still awake in there when I think that maybe he should be spending that time with me.
I am a firm believer that kids need a reliable schedule especially when it comes to sleeping/napping. I started a bedtime routine when he was four weeks old (which is when he started sleeping eight hours). I've always put him in his crib before he is tired (because of a book I read about good sleeping habits), and it has always worked for him. So, I never really know when he is tired because I put him to sleep before he shows signs.
He naps at school at 12:15 for an average of 1 1/2 hours. On the weekends, he naps from about 1:00-3:00. He loves sleep. In the mornings when he wakes up, he'll hang out in his crib for a really long time, and when I finally get him, he will say "ni-night" over and over again because he loves being in there. Is my child a recluse? : )
So, my question is, should I keep doing what I am doing, or should I put him to sleep later? A bedtime past 8:00 seems so late for a kid his age.
When I put him in his crib around 7:45 PM, he is wide awake sometimes until 9:00! On those nights, I have to wake him up at 7:15 in the morning to get him ready to go to school. I'm certainly not complaining because he is happy and content in his crib, but I feel badly that he is still awake in there when I think that maybe he should be spending that time with me.
I am a firm believer that kids need a reliable schedule especially when it comes to sleeping/napping. I started a bedtime routine when he was four weeks old (which is when he started sleeping eight hours). I've always put him in his crib before he is tired (because of a book I read about good sleeping habits), and it has always worked for him. So, I never really know when he is tired because I put him to sleep before he shows signs.
He naps at school at 12:15 for an average of 1 1/2 hours. On the weekends, he naps from about 1:00-3:00. He loves sleep. In the mornings when he wakes up, he'll hang out in his crib for a really long time, and when I finally get him, he will say "ni-night" over and over again because he loves being in there. Is my child a recluse? : )
So, my question is, should I keep doing what I am doing, or should I put him to sleep later? A bedtime past 8:00 seems so late for a kid his age.
Monday, May 5, 2014
Potty Training Boys is a Really Messy Job!
Sidekick is 22 months old, so I am not doing hardcore potty training. When he wakes up dry in the mornings and after naps, I put him on the potty and then again before bath. Lately, more often than not, he has successfully peed in the potty. But...
Holy smokes! No matter how well I position Sidekick on his potty, he always manages to pee OVER the splash guard even when I think for sure that won't happen. Seriously, who thought that a one-two inch splash guard is tall enough? I need it to be about six-eight inches tall! I know he needs to push "it" down, but he is so young that he doesn't really understand that concept, and when he starts to pee, and I try to push "it" down, the mess has already begun! This morning, his pee hit the toilet about six inches away and then made a puddle on the floor around his potty. What a mess!
I have to figure out a way to make it less messy. I might as well remove the throw rug in the bathroom and line the walls and floor with plastic. Haha! Aside from that, does anyone have suggestions so that I don't have to constantly clean up after him? Will it get easier when he learns to push "it" down? The joys of raising boys.
Holy smokes! No matter how well I position Sidekick on his potty, he always manages to pee OVER the splash guard even when I think for sure that won't happen. Seriously, who thought that a one-two inch splash guard is tall enough? I need it to be about six-eight inches tall! I know he needs to push "it" down, but he is so young that he doesn't really understand that concept, and when he starts to pee, and I try to push "it" down, the mess has already begun! This morning, his pee hit the toilet about six inches away and then made a puddle on the floor around his potty. What a mess!
I have to figure out a way to make it less messy. I might as well remove the throw rug in the bathroom and line the walls and floor with plastic. Haha! Aside from that, does anyone have suggestions so that I don't have to constantly clean up after him? Will it get easier when he learns to push "it" down? The joys of raising boys.
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