Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Baby Bug

Between people in my life and blogs I follow, I think I may be getting the Baby Bug again.  I thought I had made peace with the fact that Sidekick and I (and Dog) will be the only parts of our family, but being surrounded by babies lately makes me want to change our family. Ugh!  I ponder this thought as I focus my attention on my finances. I have no debt (other than my condo, if that's considered debt), and I can buy what I want (which isn't often) without worrying if I can pay for it.  We have a comfortable life.  I regularly invest in a 401k, Roth IRA, and Sidekick's college fund.  I have a good sized bonus check to buy a house if I am fortunate to sell my condo. Finances are great!  Am I willing to push my finances in order to expand our family?  Am I willing to say "no" to Sidekick (and kid #2) when he/they wants to do things that I can't afford?  Am I willing to carry a credit card debt? What's more important... money or family?  Do I follow my head or my heart?

Another thing I think about is the difficulty I had getting pregnant.  I did eight IUIs and had to resort to fertility injections the last four tries. Because of that, on try #8, I got pregnant with twins but lost one early in my pregnancy (as much as I hate to admit it, I was a relieved I had just one healthy baby).  So... the likelihood of conceiving is small due to my age and the difficulty getting pregnant the first time.  I would not want to chance twins again and use fertility meds because I might have to commit myself if I had three kids!  :)  That just freaks me out thinking about it.  I can roll the dice and try to get pregnant with no fertility meds, and if it works, it works. However, how many tries am I willing to do?  And that brings me back to my biggest concern...

Finances! 

I wonder if I will ever truly make peace with this, and if I'll look back and feel badly I didn't have another child.  I love being a Mom, and I've loved every moment.  I loved being pregnant. I almost want Baby #2 more than I wanted Sidekick because now I know how incredible raising a child is.  So, why not have another child?  Oh yeah... finances! 

Really???  Is this a good enough reason to say "No" to baby #2?

2 comments:

  1. I'm having the same debate over and over in my head but my finances are a little bit worse and I eke having unplanned expenses. I'm looking forward to hearing what you decide. I don't think I'm ready to decide yet.

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  2. It's a really, really difficult decision. Only you can make it and you will make the right one for your family. Best wishes for your journey.

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