Work Travels and the Stressed SMC

I've handled work and Sidekick pretty well since I went back to work 17 months ago, but that is all coming to a screeching halt come March 6th!  I have several overnight trips for work and several late afternoon sales presentations that won't be done in time to pick up Sidekick from school.  (My territory has changed, so these things weren't an issue last year.)  This is when being a SMC with no family in the same state can make a calm SMC a worrying, stressed SMC!  I am literally piecing people together to stay over night with Sidekick, let Sidekick stay overnight with them, have someone pick up Sidekick from school and take him to their home until I can pick him up before he goes to sleep, and pick up Sidekick from school and take him back to my home until I get home.  Oh, and how can I forgot about Dog?  I have to get her covered as well. I also need to get easy meals made ahead of time for Sidekick for the people taking care of him at my home. It would be one thing if they were just babysitting, but all of these people are driving my precious little boy to and from school, and that makes me a nervous wreck!  

I'd be lying if I said that I don't freak out daily about the logistics of all of this.  I am hoping my Village comes through for me.  I have never had to rely on my Village up until now.  It's going to cost me quite a lot of money to get Sidekick taken care of, but it's worth having him in such good hands.  Sidekick is a very laid back kid, so I think he'll be just fine through all of this and will roll with the punches, but his Momma won't be.  I've been away from him overnight two times before and it was only for one night both times, and my mom took care of him.  It's not that I don't want to be away from him.  I'm totally fine with that.  It's that I have so many different people covering him in March and he is being tossed around so much.  This time I'll be overnight for more than one night in a row.  For one of those trips he'll be at my friends' house and the other trip his teacher is taking care of him at my home.  There's something strange about someone else (who I really don't know outside of school) living in my home, driving my child, and keeping him alive (haha).  But, it's what I have to do, so I'm just going to have to suck it up!

The good news is that after my crazy month, I will be heading to Cabo the first part of April because I won a trip for being one of the top sales reps in my company.  My best friend who moved out of state is going with me and my mom will be taking care of Sidekick.  While I'll miss him dearly, I am less worried about my mom taking care of him than anyone else.  Plus, she can juggle Dog (living in a condo makes having Dog a little more challenging).  So... I just need to get through March and then I'll be enjoying four days on the beach drinking a lot of margaritas.  

And by the way, it's months like March that really deter me from thinking about having #2.  It's a lot more to ask someone to watch two kids for overnights or pick them up from school than it is just one. Just the car seat situation alone for Sidekick is crazy (thankfully I have two because I have a personal car and a company car), let alone for two kids!  After March, I might be back on the "Wanting Baby #2 Bandwagon" again.  : )

So... I need to breathe.  It'll all work out, I know it will, but how could I not be worried being away from my little guy for so many nights?  <sigh>

Little Helper

Sidekick has been feeding Dog for a couple of months now.  After he eats dinner, he carries the dog bowl to the laundry room for me to fill, and then he carries it back to the kitchen.  He started doing this on his own.  He has only spilled a couple of times, which is pretty impressive.  Yesterday, I opened the bag of food and was going to pour it into tubs. A few minutes later, Sidekick did this (see video) and continued making about 20 trips.  I have no idea how he knew this was Dog's food.  He's such an awesome little helper! 

L O V E

L O V E... I've never been a fan of Valentine's Day, even when I was dating a great guy and in LOVE.  It's just a stupid, mushy Hallmark holiday when people show their LOVE (when they should be showing their LOVE every day).  What's interesting is that when you are a Mom, you are required to show your LOVE every day regardless of if you are sick, tired, crabby, having a bad day, etc.  It just comes with the territory of parenthood. 

Every day we show our LOVE the minute these little beings wake up in the morning because they need us.  Every morning, no matter how tired I am, I walk into Sidekick's room, and he puts such a smile on my face because he is so happy to see me.  It's like I left him for days.  I pick him up from his crib and always give him a hug and kiss and tell him I LOVE him. The LOVE doesn't stop there.  It continues all day long.  I get him dressed, brush his hair, feed him a good breakfast, and calmly deal with his tantrums/stubbornness... all before we head out the door to start our school/work day, and then the LOVE continues as soon as I pick him up from school.  Every single thing we do for our young children shows LOVE.  They depend on us for everything, and when they suck everything out of us by the end of the day, we feel LOVED when they wrap their little arms around us and give us a sloppy kiss for no reason at all. Even these little beings show LOVE at such an early age.  

 

I LOVE the similar expression on his face one year apart!

 

I've said/written it before, and I'll say/write it again.  I am, and always have been, madly in LOVE with my son.  I never knew LOVE until seconds after he was born.  I was exhausted after being in labor for 23 1/2 hours (and pushing 2 1/2 of those hours), but I was instantly rejuvenated when I saw his sweet face look up at me, his Momma, after he was laid on my chest!  He had this sense of peace as soon as I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his wrinkly forehead.  He had this knowingness as soon as I said hello to him... kind of like he was thinking, "So you are the one I kept hearing for nine months. Awesome!"  I was head over heels in LOVE with this beautiful little baby I made. How could I LOVE someone I didn't even know?  That moment made me see the beauty of life and how precious it really is. 

So, on this Hallmark holiday when I am wrapping up a stressful week that brought me to tears, I am reminded just how lucky I am to have Sidekick in my life. Regardless of how bad my day is, Sidekick can instantly turn it around by his goofiness, when he plops himself in my lap with a book, and when he snuggles with me before I lay him in his crib. LOVE... while I may not have a husband/boyfriend to LOVE, I have a child to LOVE, and I'm blessed and fortunate that I had the opportunity to discover the kind of LOVE I have for Sidekick. It is an indescribable LOVE, and only a parent can truly understand the depths of this kind of LOVE. 

On the Eve of Valentine's Day

I asked this question, and this is Sidekick's answer...

 How could I not love this kid???  He is the best Valentine ever! 

OCD or Routine?

Sidekick has thrived on routine/structure since he was four weeks old.  That's when we really got into a schedule, his bedtime routine started, and he started sleeping eight hours straight.  I've been a proponent of a schedule especially with bedtime since before I even thought about having Sidekick because I knew the importance of it.  I think in doing so, he wants everything to be structured and organized in his life; hence my reference to OCD. 

I don't let him sleep with anything in his crib except a little monkey head with a blanket (That is probably the only thing I worry about in his life, and in reality, he doesn't really need anything in the crib).  I'll let him fall asleep with his blanket, but once he falls asleep, I throw it through the slats of his crib with just a corner inside the crib for him to grab when he wakes up (or when he happens to wake up in the middle of the night which freaks me out if I happen to check the monitor and he has it).  For the past few weeks, he has been obsessed with his three friends:  Enmo (Elmo), Georgia (Curious George) and Fred Bird (St. Louis Cardinals mascot).  His obsession has led to this every single fricken morning!:

 

As soon as I get him dressed in the morning, he has to take his friends to breakfast with him, and they must sit on the table.  As soon as he is done eating breakfast, he points to his friends and says, "ni-night", and so the ritual continues.  He then drags all of his friends back to his room and put them "ni-night" in his crib, and he must cover them with his blanket.  Today, two more friends got added in. 

 

It was cute the first couple of times he did it, but now it MUST happen every single morning before we leave for school or he pitches a fit. I think it's interesting that he started this one day because they had never been put in his crib before, so where did he come up with this? 

 

I have to admit that I sometimes worry about this need, routine, structure, obsession... whatever you want to call it.  His pediatrician told me it's a sign of intelligence because he wants things in his life to be in order. While that sounds great in theory (what Mom doesn't want to hear her child is intelligent), if he starts washing his hands 20 times a day, I'm going to really freak out!   

 

Does anyone else's kids do things like this?  Is this normal?

Totally Random Question

Okay, SMC... here's a question for you:

If you "met" a guy online, had several phone conversations with him, and he suggested meeting at a park, zoo, museum, etc. with his kid(s) and your kid(s) for the first time meeting each other, would you do it? 

(Don't jump to conclusions... I'm not in this situation.  I'm just curious if you would do it.)

Baby Bug

Between people in my life and blogs I follow, I think I may be getting the Baby Bug again.  I thought I had made peace with the fact that Sidekick and I (and Dog) will be the only parts of our family, but being surrounded by babies lately makes me want to change our family. Ugh!  I ponder this thought as I focus my attention on my finances. I have no debt (other than my condo, if that's considered debt), and I can buy what I want (which isn't often) without worrying if I can pay for it.  We have a comfortable life.  I regularly invest in a 401k, Roth IRA, and Sidekick's college fund.  I have a good sized bonus check to buy a house if I am fortunate to sell my condo. Finances are great!  Am I willing to push my finances in order to expand our family?  Am I willing to say "no" to Sidekick (and kid #2) when he/they wants to do things that I can't afford?  Am I willing to carry a credit card debt? What's more important... money or family?  Do I follow my head or my heart?

Another thing I think about is the difficulty I had getting pregnant.  I did eight IUIs and had to resort to fertility injections the last four tries. Because of that, on try #8, I got pregnant with twins but lost one early in my pregnancy (as much as I hate to admit it, I was a relieved I had just one healthy baby).  So... the likelihood of conceiving is small due to my age and the difficulty getting pregnant the first time.  I would not want to chance twins again and use fertility meds because I might have to commit myself if I had three kids!  :)  That just freaks me out thinking about it.  I can roll the dice and try to get pregnant with no fertility meds, and if it works, it works. However, how many tries am I willing to do?  And that brings me back to my biggest concern...

Finances! 

I wonder if I will ever truly make peace with this, and if I'll look back and feel badly I didn't have another child.  I love being a Mom, and I've loved every moment.  I loved being pregnant. I almost want Baby #2 more than I wanted Sidekick because now I know how incredible raising a child is.  So, why not have another child?  Oh yeah... finances! 

Really???  Is this a good enough reason to say "No" to baby #2?