It's a...

BOY!!!!  I kind of thought I was having a boy due to the fact that is seems like most IUI babies tend to be boys.  Whether this is coincidence or fact, I'm not sure, but since IUIs are timed so perfectly to ovulation and the boy sperm get to the egg faster, it only makes sense. 

After seeing the infamous "three lines" on the ultrasound, I thought it was a girl.  I was a bit shocked to learn a second later that the middle line was longer than the other two which indicated a boy.  When the reality of finding out what I am having sunk in, I began having little breakdowns every once in a while because everything was all of a sudden more real and I had a lot to do before my baby boy arrives.  

My mom was in town for the ultrasound, and after my appointment, we visited the "scene of the crime" where B Cubed or BBB (Baby Boy B___ which is my last name) was conceived.  It was fun to see everyone at that doctor's office so excited about my healthy pregnancy!  After that, we visited the baby's daycare so my mom could give me her opinion (thumbs up!), and the shopping adventures began!  We picked out paint for the walls, ordered the furniture, bought some clothes, got my head on straight about where my office will go (it is currently in the soon-to-be nursery), etc.  During each little project, tears welled up in my eyes because again, I felt so incredibly overwhelmed by it all.  I had been so level headed the first 18 weeks of my pregnancy, but for some reason, the reality of this all has officially kicked in and my head seems to be spinning. 

We'd be shopping and walking down "boy" aisles when I'd comment, "I have to learn to play with dinosaurs and trucks" which kind of freaked me out.  But then I realized I wasn't sure if I really wanted to play with Barbies. I believed from the moment I got pregnant that this is the baby that is meant to be mine and regardless if pregnant mothers want a boy or a girl, we get the exact baby we are supposed to have.  I am supposed to have this baby boy growing in my belly.  I believe that, but in all honesty, it's taking some time to adjust to.

I always thought that it might be a little easier to raise a girl as a single mother because I can relate to her better than I can a boy.  I'm a bit worried about talking to my son about things as he grows up because I can't relate to the things he will face, but I'll figure it all out.  I have no choice.  Fortunately, I have great guy friends and my brother-in-law in my life who will be amazing role models to my son. The good news is I'm athletic, outdoorsy, and adventurous... all great things to to have when raising a boy!

Worrying...

I've been told that I'll never stop worrying about my child, not even when it's an adult.  It's crazy how much I worry about my baby growing in me when there is so little I can do for it other than eat well and take care of myself.  Last week I had blood drawn for my second trimester screening.  These results are combined with the first trimester screening blood work to come up with my odds that my baby might have something wrong with him/her.  The phone call came a lot sooner than I had expected, so of course I panicked when I saw the number on caller ID.  Fortunately, everything looks great, and there is no need to even have to do an amniocentesis.  This is such a huge relief!

I've been worrying and obsessing about day cares, and while I think I am way ahead of the game in my search, I am finding that I'm not.  Geez... my baby won't be in daycare for nine more months, and already I'm finding space is limited.  I've toured a lot, and I mean a lot of places, and none of them seem good enough for my baby! Some are definitely worse than others, and of course the one I really like and would sign up today is over my budget and far away.  That kind of depressed me because I saw a great place that doesn't really make sense to even consider.  <sigh>  Yet another thing to worry about...