Bad Momma Instincts. Sick Little Sidekick.

Sometimes my motherly instincts don't kick in fast enough.  This past weekend was one of those times.  We had a baby shower to attend immediately followed by my colleagues retirement party on Saturday.  I knew I would be in trouble when my little 
Sidekick got messed up with his nap schedule (he's always been a very scheduled baby and he messed it up himself).  I was so excited to "show off" Sidekick at the retirement party because several people hadn't met him and a few hadn't seen him in a long time. I was even thinking that this party would allow me to have a bit a break because people would want to hold him, and I could enjoy an alcoholic beverage and some food. 

When I was pregnant, I kept telling people that I "ordered" the perfect baby (they always laughed at me).  After his was born, I was convinced that my order was correct because he really is a perfect baby.  For some reason, my perfect baby disappeared at the retirement party!  When we got to there, he was so crabby and upset and was literally inconsolable. I had no idea whose baby I brought, but I immediately wanted to do a "switch out".  He is beginning to get shy around people, so I thought it was that, but when I couldn't even make him happy, I had no idea where my perfect baby was!  I was embarrassed that my child was behaving that way (even though it didn't phase anyone at the party). 

We left the party after about an hour and when I got home, I quickly put him in his PJs, gave him a bottle, and laid him in his crib, and he immediately began screaming.  I was so frustrated that I couldn't do anything "right".  I realized at that moment, I had lost control of my baby.  I let him cry it out for a bit, all to no avail.  I finally went to him and rocked him to sleep (which I've never done because unless he fell asleep while eating, I always put him in his crib awake).  I realized that he is growing up so fast, so I just held him for a long time and savored his sweet smell and the warmth of his little body.

He woke up every hour on the hour for several hours. This made me crazy because he started sleeping eight hours straight when he was four weeks old (I know, lucky!), so I don't know what to do when he wakes up in the middle of the night. He got himself back to sleep all of the times but the last one when he was sitting up in his crib, sucking his two fingers, and crying.  It broke my heart.  I went to him and brought him into my bed (another thing I don't do) and just held him.  On a side note, I don't know how people can let their kids sleep with them in the bed.  I was so terrified that I would drift off to sleep and somehow something bad would happen to him.

I finally got him into a deep sleep, so I transferred him to his crib.  When he woke up the next morning, I went into his room and was overcome by an awful stench!  My sweet baby had the nastiest diaper ever.  And so began our two days with some horrible stomach bug. Poor little guy was so miserable at the party because he was getting sick.  I should know that because last time he wasn't himself, he was sick.  Ugh!  Why can't I remember stuff like that?  Come on, Motherly Instincts, be more obvious!

As if having a sick little guy wasn't enough... he shared his lovely germs with me, so I had to take care of both of us for two days.  I just wanted to lay on my sofa all by myself in misery.  Instead, my little Sidekick's needs came first, which is the way it should be, but man, it's tough being a single momma when I am sick!  (I'm making a mental note in my thick skull about this so that if/when my little Sidekick behaves unlike himself again, it might be because he is getting sick!)

We are on the road to recovery, and while his staple food has been Puffs because that is all he would eat, he must relearn that that is not the one of the necessary food groups in order to survive.  He already fought me on that today when I begged him to eat some bananas!  Stubborn little guy... must get that from the Donor... hahaha!

My Overwhelming Joy when Watching my Son's new Discovery!

It was a beautiful day today, so instead of going to the gym or going for a run, I decided to pick up my little Sidekick early from school and go to the park.  Last time we went (which was his first time), he went on the swing and had so much fun.  This time I decided to introduce him to the slide.  I never knew how much joy I would get by watching my son experience something that seems so run of the mill to me!  This little daredevil is going to give me a run for my money!  I will treasure moments like this forever...

Frustration with Daycare!

My little Sidekick has always been a scheduled baby.  He thrives on it.  It makes both of us happy. For some reason, he does his own thing at daycare, and I don't know if it's because his teachers don't enforce his schedule or if he really just doesn't sleep as well. Honestly, I think it's a combination of both.

Today I picked him up a little earlier than normal because it was a beautiful day, and I wanted to go running with him in my new BOB. I fully expected him to be playing on the floor with his friends; instead, he was sleeping at almost 4:00 (not normal)!  Needless to say, I was pissed.  I had to wake him up and he was so upset.  He screamed on our way out the building, he screamed most of the car ride to the park, and he screamed/cried when I got him in the BOB.  I clearly didn't have my baby with me and whoever he belonged to, I wanted to give him back. 

Instead of putting him down at 1:30, they gave him a bottle at 1:45.  WTH?!?  He had eaten lunch at 11:30, so he was fine.  The bottle should have been after nap.  Ugh!  I realize there are seven other kids in his class and that his teachers are doing their best, but he is not needy and goes to sleep on his own without a problem.  Put him in his crib and walk away.  If his "window" is missed, he's a mess.  They miss his window all the time.

I'm frustrated and a little pissed that his teachers are kind of doing their own thing, and I don't know what to do about tit.  What they are doing (or not doing) with my little sidekick is not working for anyone.  I'm going to have to have a talk with them tomorrow, and since I am meeting with my manager first thing in the morning, it's not a day to have to deal with this, but this Momma Bear needs to protect her little cub and enforce his schedule.

Being a working momma with a baby in daycare can be hard when things are being done the way I do them.  They keep him alive and that's the most important thing, but I expect more than that.  : )

Missing my Sidekick

I had to travel for work, so I am away from my sweet baby for the first time overnight.  Thankfully my mom came in town to take care of him.  We took him to school today, and I sadly said goodbye to him.  I know he is in great hands, but I won't see for two full bedtimes because I get home late tomorrow night.  What would I do without technology?  My mom texted me a pic when she picked him up from school and he was in the car.  She texted me a pic of him playing when he got home.  She texted a pic of him eating.  She texted a pic of him taking bath.  AND we even Skyped! I feel like I was with him (from afar).

I was so excited to curl up in my bed and read because I didn't have anything to do while being stuck in my hotel room, and my days of reading are far and few between.  (I used to be a voracious reader.).  I was two hours into my four hour drive when I remembered that I forgot my Kindle! I was/am so bummed! Yes, I could have bought a book, but I have many unread books on my shelves, and I was almost done with the one on my Kindle.  So, I sit here writing my blog and getting ready to watch the new TV series, "Ready for Love". 

A night away from my baby, and I'm already showered, in my bed, and waiting 15 minutes until the show starts.  Pathetic.  : )

This "Unsentimental" Momma has Turned into a Blubbering Mess!

It was a weekend filled with realizations that my baby is growing up, and a weekend when I think have turned into a sap.  When Sidekick woke up from his nap yesterday, he was sitting up in his crib, and it seemed like he surprised  himself.  While this isn't very exciting news to report, it was funny that he realized he can get himself from the laying position to the sitting position.  This meant that the mattress needed to be lowered to the lowest level.  I tipped the crib over to make the adjustment and tears streamed down my cheeks while I looked at my baby army crawling and getting into trouble. At the same time, I was remembering when my friend and I put the crib together almost a year ago.  We had finished it and realized the mattress was crooked. Oops!  After staring at the crib for a while, we finally figured out what we did wrong (for the life of me, I cannot remember what it was).  Anyway, my sweet little sidekick is sleeping so low to the ground and so far from his mobile.  For some reason, he has moved around so much more since I lowered the mattress... not sure why that is.

Today was a beautiful, sunny day, so I decided to take my little sidekick to the park for his first ride on the swing.  I stopped at the store and bought some sunblock, lathered him up, and hurried to the park before naptime. He hated the swing when he was a baby, but this little daredevil couldn't go high enough.  He just squealed in delight and laughed so much.  I turned into a sap once again.  I relished in his excitement and tried to remind myself that there will be so many "firsts" in his life that I will get to share with him.  At the same time, I was reminded that my baby is going to be a toddler soon.

Sidekick will be nine months old tomorrow.  Nine months!  I was told by so many people that the times goes so fast, and I didn't believe them.  I want time to stop for just a bit.  I want to go back to the day he was born (I'll even go through my horrible labor and delivery again).  I was to go back to when he was a week old.  I want to go back to when he was a month old.  I want to go back and experience it all again.  Now as I sit at my computer, I have turned into a sap again.